Reconciliation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Reconciliation?
5
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 3:20pm

Well, the ex and I haven't seen eachother in almost 3 weeks since he last came over for dinner, and he is coming over this Thursday for dinner. I did email him and ask him to think about whether or not he wants to get back together, and that if he wasn't sure, then I didn't want to continue doing the dinner thing until I was in a place where we could be friends. He emailed me back and said we would see what is what as much as we can on Thursday. Now, in his emails, he hasn't said he misses me, nor has he signed them "Love," as he did when we first broke up. He has evaded answeing any questions about how he feels at the moment, saying we will talk about it later.

I want to see him and I think he wants to see me too, otherwise he wouldn't have agreed to come over for dinner both times, but I don't want to have him come over and tell me that he doesn't want to try to get back together. We are currently on a break, so it would mean there was no reconciliation if so. Should I keep dinner plans? Any thoughts?

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2006
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 5:06pm

Hey Chica,

I just finished reading the book "He's Just Not That Into You" By Greg Behrendt - it's utterly and completely nothing short of freeing. Once you except the fact that this ex-beau is just not that into you and that there are many guys that are waiting to be into you (they just don't know you yet); you'll be alright! You are a beautiful person and I don't even know you, but I can assure you that love will find you if you love yourself more!! Get the book!!!

Fran

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 10:59pm
If what you want is a reconciliation, then you need to be upfront with your bf and tell him. If he's still uncertain and doesn't know what he wants, then this is where you tell him that it's time to separate and move on for good. It's not fair of him to keep you hanging and waiting for him, that is no way to live your life. The mistake I made was when my ex said the same to me of him not being certain, but still wanting to see me, which I did because I was in love with him. Well he eventually ended things with me for good 3 months ago because during that time he realized that I wasn't the right person for him. It was hurtful and awful because I really tried, but as he said "something was missing" in our relationship. I look back at it now and wish I had the courage to end things with him sooner or at least be the one to break things off with him. But we learn from our mistakes and I've learned plenty. Tell your bf that if he wants a relationship then you both can talk, but if he doesn't then it's time for you to move on.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 11:11pm

I'd keep the dinner plans and see what he wants to talk about. This will be the way for you to know what's up in his mind and stop the roller coaster you're in once and for all. If he's once more evasive in answering your questions you'll have to decide if you want to keep on waiting on him OR if it's time to move on.

By your post, his attitude has changed in three weeks and that could be due to the break and the time he's gotten to think about what he wants to do. Be prepared and don't expect too much. You haven't changed and still want him back, BUT apparently he has.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2005
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 10:46am

Thanks for the input. He knows I want a reconciliation. I am seriously thinking of cancelling our plans, atleast until next week. Plus,my mom surprised me with a visit until next Monday, and I don't want her to have to "leave us alone."

Gal Blondie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Wed, 11-01-2006 - 4:47pm
for my own opinion ""YES"...face it and finish what ever bugging you on your mind...but be ready to face all the "RISK"...GOOD LUCK