rele confused...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
rele confused...
1
Mon, 03-27-2006 - 5:04pm

heya,

I rele need help- anyone with any advice would be very very much appreciated.

I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago and am confused. Not just about my relationship, and how i feel, but also now with what i am going to do with my life. My boyfriend and i were together for three years. To cut a long story short, i made a mistake in the early part of our relationship. I met him and was warned off him- he was a it of a troble maker in his time and so didnt want to go out with him. We were best friends and he was always there for me. Deep down i always liked him but didnt want to go out with him becos of what people thought. We got together a few months later and i kept the relationship a secret cos my freinds didnt approve. i wish i hadnt. i rele rele regret it. i do rele rele love him.

Basically we have ended up hours away due to degrees. We both still love each other very much. The thing is, he cant deal with the distance and we have broken up numerous times becos he has panicked about me having my own life. I think he is secretly worried i will rn off with someone else. He says he is finding it hard and keeps calling me in tears. We have had many hearbreaking break ups and reunions.

We both came home recently and we had 2months of fun ahead of us. Sadly we broke up a day into the holiday. He cried and said he couldnt deal with the distance. He aksed me for answers and i coldnt give any. He said that when we spend tiome togtehr in the holiday, that he hates it, becos he is always aware that the clock is ticking. He said he cant deal with not being a part of my life. I know this is the case and i know that there is no-one else or any other reason for him being like this. He has alawys been protective and has been crazy in regards to me.

I am meant to be going to a ball on wednesday and he might be there. I dont know what to do. I want to go, becos i havnt got much going on atm but seeing him there will make me want to get back with him.

He has text me and messeged me telling me he misses me since the break up and even once turned up out of the blue. i sent him away. he keeps asking why i dont want to talk to him. I cant be in his life if we r apart. it wud b too painful.

This whole thing has got me thinking about my life in general. i am not that happy at uni- i have a couple of good freinds but eveyone else is so selfabsorbed. I dont like my course also. I dont know whether to leave uni- i want to do a course in somehting ive been keen about for ages and possibly get a job. I dont know whether i shud or not, i may end up without friends.

I just dont know what to do. My ex will always keep askign me to come back to him- i know what he is like..i am worried i will have four more years of heartbreak and confusion. I want to be with him but he deal with him. I guess im secretly hoping that hell get a transfer and move back home. I know i cant expect that but secrelty i am hoping. I just dont know how he will cope when hes back at uni- to be honest i dont think he will. Last time we broke up he went off the rails. I hope that he doesnt. I just cant cope with being back and forwards all the time.

please help. so confused and rele sad. i feel like justice is being served after the way i treated him at the start of the relationship. i feel awful

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2006
In reply to: gawd1505
Tue, 03-28-2006 - 8:19am

Hi

I know this must be so difficult. I've been in long distance realtionships and it hurts so bad. I've unfortunately been in three and they were the three loves and heartbreaks I've had. The first two were so difficult and we just couldn't handle the seperation. The third was my greatest love and I moved to be with him. We broke up 11 days ago. I thought we would be together forever.

You need ( i know how hard this is) to decide if you can bear the seperation. I do not suggest moving to him now. The ball is in your court. If you believe he is the one then my advice is to keep doing the long distance for now. If it ends it ends but you tried. If you are unsure of him then maybe you need to let him go.

What I keep telling myself is what is meant to be will be. It may not feel right at the moment but later down the line we will understand.