returning expensive gift after breakup?
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returning expensive gift after breakup?
| Thu, 03-20-2008 - 4:20pm |
I would really like to hear other people's opinion on this.
Just today I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I thought it would be good for us to take a break. Immediately he told me he wished I told him sooner so he wouldn't have spent all this money on us last month. He also said he wanted the expensive purse he bought for me early Feb back. Is this outrageous or am I overreacting?
I was (and still am, I guess) ambivalent about breaking up with him. Things are okay most of the time...but I found him asking for a GIFT back very tacky and petty.

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......"And given how long you two were together, it's stupid that money is even an issue. He obviously sees it as "his" money. I know I didn't earn NEARLY what my ex did, but after about a year, he did start to think of our finances jointly, that we were in this together. I... just don't think this guy sounds very appealing. Ethically, he puts me off. Those types of guys always end up divorcing their wives for someone younger and hotter, and then hire the best lawyer to make sure she doesn't get any of "his" money.".....
Those are quite the sweeping statements. I have to disagree with what you've said here. First of all, they were only together two years, I believe and simply dating at that, not engaged. That situation doesn't typically give one right to either access to or knowledge of the other's money, and I'm fairly certain she's aware of that. Your ex is an exception if he thought differently than that. That most certainly IS his money. As long as there is no concrete commitment, specifically as in marriage, then that's the way it should stay, IMO. Money is usually the number one issue of contention in any marriage. For either of them to disregard their apparent differences in how they view it would be a potentially disastrous mistake. This should be an eye-opener for rfn, I hope she takes advantage of this break to really SEE what's going on in her relationship.
I'd be very careful of relying on the words "always" or "never." I suggest to everyone to make an effort cut them out of ther vocabulary. There is no always to anything, and never can be turned around in less than an instant. It's easy to poison our own thoughts and subsequently, our beliefs that are born from them. You and all of us have absolutely no idea what he or any other man would do in a divorce situation about money, each person is different when it comes to that and the dating/courtship/engagement process IS the time to find these things out about potential lifelong partners. That's a significant part of the whole thing.
As far as money not being important, I acknowledge it will not buy a person happiness, love, or joy or any of the intangibles which I beleive are the true treasures in life. However, properly put in perspective, it does make our physical lives a bit easier. Try telling someone who has no money that it isn't important. I think you'd be hard pressed.
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