Is this right?
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| Mon, 11-15-2004 - 1:33am |
*My bestfriend in the world also my now ex-boyfriend we broke up over a month ago not due to a fight but for the simple reason that he was moving out of the state for a year and I refused to be in a LDR. At first I regretted this decision because he was my first, my everything and my bestfriend too but now I don't as he has little to no time to contact me due to studying. I hear from him maybe 1/2times a week if I'm lucky and it is just too hard for me. I was a little upset for the first few weeks but I just kept busy,hung out with friends etc. and I was doing pretty good.
Then last week I talked to him and I just started shaking uncontrolably I was so upset crying and I haven't been the same since. It's like it's finally sunk in that he's not coming back I guess? We were still going to be 'best friends' while he was gone but now I'm thinking that maybe I should end contact with him for a few months so I can get my life on track again? I don't know because I miss talking to him so much and being able to speak to him/ see him all the time like usual..but on the other hand I would feel bad cutting contact with him when he is in a new state and doesn't know anyone? I encouraged him to go when he was unsure and told him it would be the best thing for him so I would feel so bad just cutting him off? After he got there we would talk he would tell me how me missed me/loved me/thought of me often but I never reciprocated I just told him once that 'everyone missed him at home' never pinpoint myself or anything. He doesn't say these things anymore I'm guessing it's because I kind of 'snubbed him' but I can't say them when were not going out?
I want him in my life forever whether he is my groom at the wedding or in the first row, it is just hard not having him with me. I have been down lately some of my friends have been trying to set me up with other guys but I feel like I'm cheating on him and my heart just isn't in it? But I know I'm not cheating on him all my friends say the fastest way to move on is to date somone new? They say I should date other people well I'm young and take advantage of this opportunity while I can..Thanks to anyone and everyone who reads I know it is incredibly long!!!! Sorry
Thanks guys&gals!

:( Thank you for the advice cl-heidi hibbit,
I wish there was another way then to cut him out of my life. He has been part of it for so long I wish my feelings for him could just go away and we could just be best friends again, just not in the same states that would be nice. I guess I will have to talk to him about it so I don't just cut off contact out of the blue..I know I am young and still have a lot to learn thank you so much for your help again I appreciate it.
Trix