the road less traveled
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the road less traveled
| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:52pm |
i have a question, and wanted some input:
after your s/o cheated and left you for the other man/woman; did they come back? if so, was it ever the same?

Sometimes, like a third-rate horror flick, you get a person back in body but not in spirit. Maybe their guilt or the weight of other people's expectations will bring them back, maybe they'll try to "work at it" like a good soldier, but if their heart is not in it, it doesn't matter that they're physically present. The cheater has to want to make it work, has to feel remorse and feel that your relationship is a rare and precious and wonderful thing that has to be saved. They can't just be persuaded to come back and try again. The motivation has to come from within. Otherwise, you're living with a virtual zombie, someone who's going through the motions with you but not really WITH you, and you don't actually just want a hollow shell of the person you loved. Yes, I think that a relationship can be saved after infidelity, if that is what both partners really want, and if both partners are prepared for a lot of work and pain and certainly therapy.