roller coaster of emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
roller coaster of emotions
3
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 12:18pm
Hi everyone,
I hope this finds you well. I myself have had every emotion in the book today . I broke up with my ex about 10 days ago, but this is Day 3 since we last spoke ( which was terrible). I had been doing NC for almost a week then contacted him, which was awful but reminded me why no contact really is best.
Anyways, back to today. In the car on my way to work I started crying and I was sad and angry. Just thinking about all the crap he put me through . Then I have been feeling really good. I made plans to meet with friends after work, im feeling positive. Then BAM, another low point. I start freaking out , wondering how am I going to never speak to him again??!! I start doubting myself , ,maybe I should call to see how he is doing. But I know thats not what I am going to do ,cause thats why I did a few days ago and it was not good.It just makes things harder. I guess its just a weird feeling to go from talking to someone all the time , to nothing at all. I keep telling myself" This too shall pass", but sometimes its just so overwhelming...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 1:44pm

Yup, It is basically the hardest thing in the entire world. My ex broke up with me on June4th and the longest no contact period is 14 days (currently) so I definitely was breaking it all the time in the beginning... One thing I will say is that it definitely doesnt help to make contact..It makes things MUCH MUCH HARDER...and you never get an answer from him that makes you happy...

Just try to get through each day without calling him and it will get easier as the days pass...One day at a time

When you get a serious craving to call him then call another friend and talk to them about it or write him a letter and DO NOT SEND IT... In the beginning I think I wrote about 10 letters, one a day whenever I thought I was going to cave. Sometimes just getting your thoughts out helps a great deal...

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 5:56pm
OMG! I know exactly how you are feeling today and I'm so sorry. I'm feeling the same way. I havent seen my ex in three weeks. The first week was absolutely horrible. I cried all the time. Had to leave my desk several times a day because I didn't want to break down at my desk. I had to go stay at my girlfriends house the whole week b/c the void at home was too much. The last two weeks have been a little bit better. I'm still feeling very very sad but better than the first week. Well this week we have been in contact a little. Mostly over email and text. That has stirred up a lot of emotions. I went out with friends last night and had a fine time. When I got home it was like freight train hit me. I broke down crying and havent stopped yet. I feel like I'm back to square one with the pain. I have been tearing up all day whenever I think of him and us together. So I know how you're feeling and it sucks! And I too keep using the THIS TOO SHAL PASS motto but it's very hard. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Try to have a good weekend!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 9:14pm

The first 2-3 days were the worst I think, though afterwards the two weeks of sometimes ok, sometimes in the pits are pretty bad because it feels like you're out of control. Anyways, point is, NC really is a miracle sometimes. It is really the fastest way to recovery.
And I don't use the "this too shall pass", I usually just dig out this poem (I'll put it on the bottom), and read it over to myself until I stablize. Funny how it never meant much to me until I broke up.

cheers
Susanna

After A While
After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open,

With the grace of a woman,
Not the grief of a child

And you learn to build all your roads on today,
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After awhile you learn that even sunshine
Burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
In stead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers

And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth,
and you learn and learn...
With every good bye you learn.

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your