rollercoater of emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2006
rollercoater of emotions
1
Sun, 03-12-2006 - 11:51am
hi everyone, im hoping someons can help me here, I met my ex online about 2 months ago, It started of well, just a few drinks and getting to know each other. After afew disatrerous relationships i had a bit of atick list and this guy was ticking then all.
He's an exec so was really busy and travelled alot, I know what youre thinkin...but that wasnt the case. He liked me, you could tell,I liked him too, we enjoyed each others company. Then last week after a weeks conferences told me that they were sending him to the other side of the world. After a brief very pragmatic disscussion on the phone we both agreed what we had was great and could go a lot further, but he felt he was leading meon because he was going.
AAaah this had happened to me before, last year i guy i was dating went to new zealand!! They both said Iwas great, blah, blah,blah....
Thing is, I know I had only seen him a few weeks, i was really falling for him in a big way. You know thetype when you get that hug and it feels like something you have felt before...familiar...and now he's going, In 2 months, I know if i saw him again it will hurt more, but I so want to contact him. We said we would keep in touch. I just never thouht I would havefelt like this and I dont like it.
Sometimes i felf relieved because I hate all the texting and waiting. (I's met his kids the week before too!) It just hurts so bad that something that felt really good wont happen, do i email him telling him how I feel. That after that pragmatic phone call, i wished we hadnt been so pragmatic and but then would I be setting myself up for yet another fall??
I just feel lost
dipps
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Fri, 03-17-2006 - 1:05pm

Sorry you're going through this. It's hard to figure out sometimes which is the best path to take. My best advice is to follow your heart. I know that sounds cliche, but if your intentions are pure then you shouldn't have regrets (even if things don't work out as you hope).

I'm not sure when the last time was that you talked to him and I'm also not sure what sort of agreement the two of you set up during your phone conversation. I do know that if there are things that you feel like you should have said, but didn't, then you should tell him those things. It may or may not change things, but if it gives you peace of mind how wrong could it be?

Don't let the past dictate your future. You have to let go of that. It's hard to not let fear creep in from time to time, I know. You have to look at the past as life lessons and learn from them and move on. Letting your past control you isn't fair to you or your boyfriend. He's not the one that hurt you.

I'm not saying that he is the one for you, and I'm not saying that by letting go of the past you'll save yourself from getting hurt again. There will always be risk involved in relationships.

I do believe, though, that by letting go you are allowing yourself to move forward. So write that email or make that phone call. Follow your heart and lay it on the line. If he doesn't respond to you, and you're already prepared for that, it will hurt; but at least you can say you gave it your all and it didn't work. You can move on from there. Where you're at now, wondering what if, makes it hard to move on.

Let me know how it goes!!

Good luck!
=)