Rubbing the new girl in my face?
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| Thu, 04-06-2006 - 5:04pm |
My ex and I broke up about a month ago. He dumped me. Anyway, I tried the no contact thing, and I did really well until he started contacting me. I guess I fell for the whole 'I miss you' thing.
We talked several times on the phone and whenever we were around each other (planned or otherwise) we always ended up hugging and kissing. Weeelll, we hung out and kissed and all that good stuff on Thursday. Then on Friday I called him to tell him about a celebration get together for a mutual friend of ours. During the convo he told me that he was planning to hang out with he ex (who broke his heart 9 months ago). That took me by total surprise. I tried not to act upset, but he could tell that I was not cool with this little tidbit. He asked me if I was mad. I responded by saying that was probably the last thing I expected him to tell me and I would appreciate it if he didn't bring her to the get together. I told him it would be weird for me.
We talked a little about it, and he said that he didn't understand why I cared if he hung out with her or not. He said that I knew we weren't together so he and I ought to be able to hang out with whomever we want without the other getting upset. Wrong answer!! I said he shouldn't be making out with me if he was planning on getting back together with his 'other' ex.
Wow!! Just writing this makes me realize the drama..anyway to make a long story short..he brought her anyway!! It made everyone really uncomfortable because all of our friends know how he's been acting towards me lately. So we left the love-birds and went to another bar. I haven't talked to him since.
Why would he do this? Maybe he wanted to prove a point with me? Maybe he's just immature? I don't know..he always seemed pretty compassionate. Maybe I'm just an idiot.
The thing is..he didn't even have to come to the get together. It wasn't like he was a key player, you know? The get together was for his friend's wife so if my ex came or not was really irrelevant. She mainly wanted to see her girlfriends. I only invited him because I thought he might have fun. Not because she asked me to.
Has anyone been in this situation?

Carrie
hi mannie
actually we had little bit similar to my experience about my exbf/my first love. it was our friend baby shower. so i know his gonna be their with his new GF. i went there with my friend and my new born baby.
my ex was trying to be showy...being sweet to her!! she was smoking cigarette and my ex was grabbing it to her coz he doesnt want her to smoke. well i didnt act that i was jealous or something. i even told my exBF in front of the girl "is that for REAL. i know you, you are not sweet person." and i laugh.
anyways his GF trying to be friendly with me and she wants to carry my baby. but i push her away coz she almost let me drop my son. well my exbf see that but didnt say anything.
when i'm about to leave my exbf was running after me and even left his GF upstair. just to tell me to stay more longer. i told him i cant it too late and its not good for my baby. but he still beg me and it seems that he wants to ask me back. i look straight to his eye and told him i need to leave and there no way that he could put the past back. it seems that he wants to cry and i start walking away.
oneday i find out that he end up marrying the girl. i know both of them still have something against me. i hear some humor that they both talking bad about me...but who care...they just both jealous to me.
ABOUT YOU THAT YOU EXPERIENCE THIS DONT FEEL BAD. I BET YOU HE JUST WANT YOU TO GET JEALOUS THAT WHY HIS DOING THAT IN FRONT OF YOU...LIKE YOU MENTION YOU GUYS KISS AND HUGS. I'M ASSUMING HIS WAITING FOR YOU TO OPEN UP AND ASK HIM BACK. BUT YOU NEVER DID AND MAYBE HE THINK THAT YOU ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH HIM...SO HIS TRYING REVENGE TO YOU...
GOOD LUCK DEAR
He might have been trying to make me jealous or he might have been trying to prove a point with me. Maybe he wanted to remind me that we aren't together so don't get too comfortable. Who knows? Last night I was eating at a restaurant with a girlfriend of mine and two other guy friends. My ex came in with a friend of his, and they sat at the table next to us. His friend (which is a friend of mine, too) spoke to me, but my ex wouldn't even look at me. When we left I said good-bye to the whole table, and he never once responded. I guess I should think good ridance, but it's hard because we had such fun together at one point. I'm really not sure why he is so hot and cold. Less than a week ago he was missing me and wanting to hang out. This week he won't even look at me.
I know that I need to stay away, and I'm doing that. I haven't called him, and I don't try to run into him. I know this. I know I have to move on. What I don't understand is why he is acting this way. Why is he the one being so hot and cold? He knows that I still like him. Do you think he is mad at me for getting upset about his ex being there on Sat?
One thing I do know - with human nature, you can never be sure. It may be that he runs hot and cold because like most people going through a break-up regardless of who initiated it - there are good days and bad days, doubts, confusion, mixed emotions. Maybe he felt like he had the upper hand at the party, wanting to gauge your reaction, but in the restaurant it could be that he was feeling down/vulnerable, didn't want you to see what he was feeling, so he ignored you, maybe he was hurt, or maybe he felt you had the upper hand.
My advice (which isn't always easy to do) is to stop trying to figure it out. Sure if you could have 'an answer' it would rest easier in your mind, it would give you something you could go to for every incident, but the thing is, that answer may be a changing thing based on how any person feels on any given day.
Stay focused on you and your healing. My best to you.
Carrie