Rug yanked out from under me

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Rug yanked out from under me
26
Wed, 03-29-2006 - 6:14pm
For the past 3 months, I have dated a guy who treated me like gold, took me on trips overseas, spent every weekend with me, saw me several times during the week, called me every day, was adoring and attentive. Last weekend, he started acting strange, then he stopped calling me all together. When I got in touch with him, I found out that he's getting back together with his estranged wife (I met him a year after they separated and he assured me constantly that he had no feelings whatsoever for her). Up until the last time I saw him, he was lovey-dovey and talking about trips we would take together, even though apparently he had already decided to go back to her. By the way, she cheated on him and left him for someone else. When that didn't work out, she decided she wanted him back. He had convinced me that his mind was made up and he had no interest in her. I am completely shocked, disgusted, and horrified that I was fooled and duped so badly. I feel raw and depressed. It's not like he was my soul mate -- I was drawn in by the attention and the attraction -- but the fact that I have been so shockingly kicked in the gut and deceived. I've had a few bad dating experiences, I'm almost 38, and I'm not sure I can trust anyone anymore, or keep hoping to meet someone. Mostly I just feel foolish and sickened. Please, some encouragement -- even similar experiences -- would help right now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2006
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 10:55pm

Neppi -

"I want to be with someone I'm genuinely attracted to, while at the same time who I can rely on"

Is that possible?? Like you, I hope so!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 12:23am
Well I am 17, so I don't think there is much advice i could give you. Lol. I guess he's a pig. He'll probably end up worst off because you sound like a loving perosn and she sounds like a slutty, lieing cow. He'll more than liekly realise his mistake soon, and if he tries to speak to you turn around & kick him back so to speak. He blew it. But please don't say that you can't trust again. I feel like that and hearing that sorta stuff from somebody older and more wiser, makes me feel like like there is no hope. Hell maybe there isn't but i wanna belive there is untill I am at least 25.Lol. Well I don't know. I guess just keep trying. Goodluck and take care. Keep smiling :)
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 1:13am

Oh, sorry if I didn't make it clear...I am attracted to *some* available, reliable men these days, just not all of them ;-).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 12:55pm
I am so sorry this happened to you. What he did is not right. One thing to be on the lookout for is him coming back to you at some point. A man who can play with someone's emotions like this would come crawling back to you if something with her falls through. What he did was wrong. If I were you I would absolutely resist any contact with him.
I am so so sorry this happened to you. He sure knew how to wooo you despite the red flags. Anytime there is an X in this capacity-recent breakup, I do NOT date the person no matter how awesome he seems right away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 3:56pm
thanks dionne,
i can assure you that i would never take him back. one thing about me, once i don't trust someone, i can't be with them. i would like the opportunity to reject HIM, but i'd probably just be better off if he stayed out of my life all together!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 7:17pm
Well I wouldn't expect you to be attracted to EVERY available man! But I'm glad it's possible. :)

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