sad and missing him

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
sad and missing him
1
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 2:18pm

I was in a 2 year relationship with my boyfriend and I love him. Unfortunately, we're both moving from Japan and he's going to college in Texas while I'm going to Boston and he doesn't believe in long distance relationships so we decided to break up when he leaves for the summer. It was a mutual decision for the most part. I still think we made the right decision, but now that he's left to a different country I miss him so much. We fought a lot towards the end because I felt the pressure of time and knowing that all we had left was to break up. I know we made each other very angry and even resented each other at some points but I know we both still love each other. We will still be in touch when he can get to a computer but until then we have no contact for about 3 weeks. I just miss him so much and I've been going out with friends and having time alone to cry. But I find it hard to sleep. I worry about whether he is missing me as much as I am missing him or if he's over me already. I am afraid of seeing him with a new girlfriend before I am over him because I feel like that would mean that our relationship meant less. I keep hanging on to the hope that maybe in 4 years when we graduate our current college we will meet again, have the same chemistry, and be able to be together.

I don't hate him, I'm not angry at him, and I still remember all of the amazing parts about him. I feel so fortunate to have met him and to have had someone like him love me the way he did. Because I'm not bitter, it's hard to get over him. I have no real reason to have to get over him other than the fact that he's not here and it makes it that much harder. I don't even feel like I'm ready to get over him because he still means so much to me. It's been a week since he left. Getting over him and moving on so quickly seems like I'm not giving the proper respect to my relationship and makes our time together seem like less than it really was. So I'm not ready to move on and certainly not ready to date someone else. So in the mean time, what should I do? I'm miserable at night but I don't want to get over him yet. Suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 4:13pm

joy0318...

Pianoguy thinks it's difficult to get over ANY RELATIONSHIP...whether it ended by one person or by mutual consent.

My only suggestion is to try and hold on to the GOOD MEMORIES...and occasionally send your EX an occasional snail mail friendship card. Don't go into any long dramatic diatribe about HOW MUCH YOU MISS HIM.

Once he has gotten settled at his Texas college...mail the card with a short note that simply says: "The fall fragrances are BETTER IN BOSTON!"

That line alone will at least prompt him to call you!

Best wishes and warm thoughts...

Pianoguy