sad day, i need answers
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sad day, i need answers
| Sun, 10-30-2005 - 8:57am |
I am having a sad day, I feel like my breakup is not typical of the normal breakup, it has been drawn out and hard. My ex and I have stayed in contact, he calls me pretty well everyday, and sometimes its just to talk and sometimes its him telling me he miss's me and that in the end I am who he wants, and he just doesnt know why he is so confused, etc and then the next day he will call me and say "oh you have mail here, what should i do with it?" and then tell me to have a nice day. Its so hard, I feel like he is my weakness and i have such a HARD time not answering the phone when he calls, I will ignore it and then give in...and call him back 5 mins later. I know for a fact he is seeing other girls, he wont admit but i have enough proof. It just hurts, i dont know why he is dragging this out, maybe in case it doesnt work with the new gf?. This is so hard, its awful, the harder part is, i moved away to be with him, and then when he decided to dump me, i had to move home, back home with my parents....and now i have no job. So i sit here all day, with nothing to do, except occasionally getting together with a friend.
I just dont understand, I loved him so much, i wanted to be with him forever, and he knew this, I was nothing but good to him. It just hurts so much. I just want the strength to not answer his calls, but at the same time i think, well maybe this time he is calling cuz he wants to get back together.....cuz thats how much he "leads me on". Please help.
I just dont understand, I loved him so much, i wanted to be with him forever, and he knew this, I was nothing but good to him. It just hurts so much. I just want the strength to not answer his calls, but at the same time i think, well maybe this time he is calling cuz he wants to get back together.....cuz thats how much he "leads me on". Please help.

You get to a point when you realize talking and answering his calls doesn't make you feel better in fact if you are like most of us, the pit in your stomach and anxiety it invokes is worse. It took me awhile to get to the point where I do not want to call nor do I want to receive his calls. I do not want to know what he is doing or with whom. Thankfully my ex is far from where I live so I will not run into him nor will I hear anything about his comings and goings.
I read this in a book: if you were fired from a job would you go back to the workplace or call the person who fired you? no..if you had a broken tv would you keep it or buy another? Simple analogies..
Here is what helps me: what the eyes can't see, the heart can't grieve.
Wishing you the best in your healing. It's work and does not happen overnight.
It's up to you to be strong and stop the contact. What HE wants doesn't matter; you need to take care of YOURSELF.
I would write him an email so that you know it is clear, and say: "it is too hard on me to continue to talk to you. Please don't call me anymore, UNLESS you are 100% sincere about getting back together and resolving our issues." That way you know he knows it's ok to call you if he wants to try again, but not for any other reason.
Then, call the phone company and order call rejection if you can't ignore his calls. If he decides he wants to get back together, he'll move mountains to find a way to contact you.
Sheri