Sad & Depressed
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| Mon, 05-23-2005 - 3:11pm |
My boyfriend of a little over 2 years broke up with me 10 days ago. I am a single parent of a 15 year old son and my boyfriend lived with us. Over the last month or so, he was getting depressed over work and financial matters and it was taking its toll on our relationship. He had less patience with stupid things that happened and was down much of the time. Of course when I would ask him what was wrong, it was always, “Oh, it’s not you, its work or money”, etc. Then after weeks of him bringing me down with him, he tells me that he’s no longer happy in the relationship and can’t do this anymore. Needless to say, I’m completely floored. Part of me is relieved because the tension was becoming unbearable and the rest of me is a big ball of emotions that includes sadness, anger, loneliness, etc. He just ripped himself out of our lives without any regard to how this might affect my son or myself. There is a huge gaping hole and it’s making me sick to my stomach. I’m not eating much at all because I have absolutely no desire to. Over the last 10 days, I have been up and down and feel like a wreck. Some days I am so sad that I get really depressed and other days when I feel stronger, I feel like I’m going to be ok. Unfortunately, the bad days have outnumbered the good ones. His memories are everywhere, everything in my house reminds me of him and it’s like a knife going into my heart. I truly feel abandoned. I feel like none of my friends or family understand what I am going through which is why I went searching for a board like this. I need some hope and guidance right now. Can anyone give me some hope that I’ll get through this? Anyone have advice when someone you loved and lived with leaves? How do you cope with things in your face everyday, like the empty spot where his guitars used to sit or the place where his picture used to sit? I feel so lost right now. It's scaring me that I'm so depressed.

((((Kathe))))
I feel your pain. It's going to take some time, but you will get through this. For the time being, try hard to focus on continuing to take good care of your son and being there for him. Remember to keep up with the other responsibilities you have (job, paying bills, grocery shopping, etc.) and place a limit on the "brain time" you give your ex and your situation. In other words, be proactive in your own healing. Allow yourself 5 good minutes a day to waddle in the pain, and then after that, force yourself to do something positive to get your mind off of him.
As for all those little reminders of him that are around the house, it's time to box them up and either place them in the garage or tell him to come and pick them up.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remember that the pain WILL eventually end. Stay focused and stay positive for your son and yourself.
Stay strong!
All the best,
Heymum
I'm sorry for the pain you're going through. I know it's a cliche, but it's true...things WILL get better in time. The first few weeks to a month is the worst...and it's probably going to take you a good year to get over him completely (which is NOT to say that you'll feel this bad for a whole year...it gets better gradually).
Put your own things where his used to be, or buy new things that give you pleasure to look at and put them in the "hot spots" around the house. Rearrange the furniture, and redecorate a bit if you can.
If you aren't starting to feel better in a few weeks, you might consider seeing a counselor to help you through this.
Sheri
Thank you heymum! I appreciate the support. I need to get through this difficult time and it helps to hear from other people going through the same thing.
~Kathe