sad eyes :(
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 04-24-2005 - 12:27pm |
There is no longer any light hiding in my eyes, never a memory nor an image to break through these foreboding walls that seem to surround my every waking hour. Walls that I fear slowly coming back up... against my will.
Walking naked, in my room, on the streets, at night, alone. Stripped of feelings and surrounded by memories and dreams that no longer seem to be my own, moments to cleanse the desire I feel of touching someone else's skin, of laughing in the night as the sound of her wings rocks me gently into sleep.
These are the walls I am talking about.
And there is very little that I can tell from the world outside; the crazy hazy world where no one lives and nothing moves. But finding truth in compassion, not lingering in the moment, or hiding behind an image that does not belong to you, is the one thing I learned from the girl that I still have inside of me, the one thing I will take with me before I let her go. Finding out that the more you know, or that the more you think you know, the less sure you are about yourself.
I once thought that I would find peace in the silence of my dreams, but looking into her heart and finding there the memories I once thought lost, was truly an unexpected surprise. And that she would be timeless in my dreams, fragile to my touch, is a memory that I will keep with me until the end.
I understand she was not the one, it's just so hard to let her go because, because I feel like I'm killing a part of me, a part of me I dearly love, the part of me that loves.
I'll whisper her name when there are no more roads to follow; I'll touch every flower in my path, never thinking twice about finding my way back to the place where I truly belong. To those hands of silver, and those eyes of gold of whomever is out there waiting for me.
I just hope that I can find her soon. I really do.
Frank
