Sad n Alone :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Sad n Alone :(
2
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 8:28am

Hello

I an a newbie to this site and need to talk to someone. Essay comig up!

Just over two years ago my parents had just split up and i went off the rails a bit (im only 19 was 17 at the time) I came on the internet and found Andrew. We hit it off straight away, was talking every day, and eventually we decided to meet up. (I was from London, him from Nottingham - UK). It was like love at first sight - tingly feeling in my stomach, feelin really nervous! well we met up and got on like a house on fire.

In May 2003, my mum had already moved away to scotland, and dad was thinking about moving to devon so i had to think what i was going to do. I was still with Andrew at the time, so i decided to give it a chance and move in with him in Nottingham. We rented a lovely house together, and everything was fine.

In Feb 04, we had a major car accident. This is when he changed towards me (he thinks he didnt change at all!) He didnt want to spend time with me, and would like to do his own thing. Still, we plodded along as a couple and was still getting on ok.

Now, here i am this morning, sat here in floods of tears as he has left me. Ok so we had our ups and downs, but dont everyone? He says that he loves me but is not IN love with me. We split up 2 weeks ago, and he has left me to sort myself out, knowing full well i have no family or friends up here!

I dont know what to do, as i cant afford to run this place on my own, and i dont want to move back with my dad.

Im 19 years old, and feel like life is not worth living at all!

Please can i have some advice!

:'O(

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:01am
Awwww sweetie, you've been through alot!! It is sooo hard to break up and be where you feel alone, but your not!! Take a deep breath, think back, you said the last year wasn't all that great, he had pulled away after the accident? You weren't completely happy either all those times right?... kind of wanting more from him, hoping he would come around? I know you still loved him and would have worked on building the relationship, but he didn't. I'm sorry he has left you like this. Are you working or going to school? Can you put an ad for a roommate and find another place? This guy was great for you when you needed him back in 2003, and you've got great memories from your first live-in boyfriend, but you will heal and meet so many more guys!! I know you don't want to hear that you are young and have so much time, because right now you are hurt and lost. But it's true. Do something for yourself, can you visit your mum or dad, travel a bit? Get your mind off him so you can begin to find another place and meet new people. I promise before you know it, you will feel less sad and get excited about all the possiblities you have. It is alittle scary I know, because this is sort of the first time you are going out to be on your own. I too went from living with my mom to getting pregnant and married because of (bad idea) to moving right in with him. Then when that fell apart, all of a sudden I was on my own, with a child! I made it though, this was 4 years ago, it was the longest year of my life, but I learned about me and became so independent. At the time I wanted to run back to my mom or somebody but she wouldn't let me. She knew it was time for me to grow and make decisions, and I'm so much better off. I'm sending hugs for your heart, and another hug for your new found independence! You are going to be just fine, let us know how you are, best wishes!! I hope I helped :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2005
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 12:24pm

Thank you for your reply.

I have been trying to find somewhere to live all last week. I am going to view a house tonight which is looking positive. My head just feels so messed up right now. I want to move on, but i dont think i have the strength to do it. Its soo hard. I thought that the day i had to say goodbye to my mum and little brother was going to be the hardest day of my life, but this is worse.

Did i mention that he went out on friday night and found another girlfriend? well so he says anyway. This makes me feel as if i am worthless. or maybe the relationship was worthless? who knows.

Im going to the doctors tommorrow because i havent eaten since saturday and cant sleep - feel really drained.

Thanks once again for your reply

Katie xx