Saw him today, back to feeling miserable

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2004
Saw him today, back to feeling miserable
4
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 8:33pm

I needed to let out what I am feeling right now, and I don't have anyone to talk to at the moment... I am feeling really really low right now. It will be exactly a month tomorrow that my ex broke up with me. We were together 2 years 8 months, living together for just over a year. I haven't had contact with him in over a week, but he dropped by today to give me his keys and a cheque for the power bill he owed on. We didn't really say much to each other, it was very quick. When he drove off I saw him look back at the house... to see if I was looking? I;m not sure.

After he left I've been feeling absolutely miserable. I've been crying and very upset. I want to call him so bad! I know I shouldn't, but I feel like I might slip up. He was nothing but horrible to me the last 6 months of our relationship. I don't know why I still feel so strongly about him. I still love him... I miss being around him. I feel like all I want right now is to have him hold me in his arms while I cry. Yet I know he doesn't want me. He's with the woman he cheated on me with. He probably wouldn't even be at his place, or if he is she would be there.

Why do I feel such a set back after seeing him for like 2 minutes? I feel almost as bad as I did in the beginning of the breakup... I was actually starting to feel better not talking to him for the past week. I don't know what to do... I don't have anyone else to talk to right now.

Any words of encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 9:25pm
I'm so sorry to hear about your break-up.
Photobucket
Avatar for deneeecie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 9:36pm

2 years, 8 months - is a long time!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2004
Thu, 06-30-2005 - 10:04pm

Thank you both for your replies. I am feeling a bit more stable now, though still a bit depressed. He was my first boyfriend, so all of these thoughts and feelings are completely new and scary for me. I wish I could fast forward to a time where I am completely healed. But I do understand it will take a long time. Thank you for reiterating that it will take time, and that I will get over him when I am ready, not when others think I should be ready.

I hate feeling so alone without him. I made the mistake of letting him become the focus of my life, and the source of major emotional support. So now I am struggling to find somehow to cope without that in my life. In the beginning of the break-up I had friends who I could talk with on email or messenger, but nobody really close to me that could be a shoulder for me to cry on. Its been tough that way. And now farther away from the breakup those friends aren't as willing to listen to be talk on and on about my troubles. So thank you for letting me know its ok to still feel like this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 12:52pm

Hi Denise,

Just wanted to say that although you were giving advise to cowgirl, your words really helped me with my current situation. Reading it made me feel a lot better and somewhat stronger knowing that I will be okay in due time. Just wanted to say thanks.

Hema