Scared to Sleep

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Scared to Sleep
3
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 9:22am

Hi,

Just wondered if I am the only one out there with this problem and how to deal. I am scared to sleep at night. I know it sounds completely pathetic but I always leave the TV on until 3 or 4 am when I am completely exhausted so that by the time my head hits the pillow, I won't have time to think about him. I am scared of even sleeping because I never know when I will have these heart wrenching nightmares. I am scared of sleeping because when I wake up, I never know if for that first 5 minutes I will feel fine and confident or hollow and broken. I can't go on living like this and I've tried to be proactive about everything else but what can you do about sleep? I keep on having nightmares...

Thanks
Sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: sarahmrz
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 11:35am

I had insomnia for years and had to do the same thing, make myself so exhausted that by the time my head hit the pillow, I was out.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
In reply to: sarahmrz
Mon, 03-03-2008 - 2:11pm

i myself am particularly bad with naps. I work late so i tend to take a nap before i go to work so that i'll have more energy but sometimes after i wake up i have these heart-wrenching feelings towards my ex. its been 3 months too so at this point i get really angry at myself for having these emotions. its particularly hard knowing that i was doing so well and then suddenly these horrible thoughts came back. i think i messed up on the acceptance part of the grieving process. i had accepted it and then when i felt i was moved on and could handle anything i checked my ex's myspace to find that he was calling me bad names to this other girl. saying i was crazy and stuff. so its almost like having to go through it again, though its not near as bad. i actually only cried once since finding out, when before i would probably be crying countless times.


i know what you mean about the sleep thing though. some mornings i wake up and he isn't on my mind and then sometimes he is the first person to come to my head, and this has happened alot more lately. i hate when i feel like i have moved on to only find myself grieving again. :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
In reply to: sarahmrz
Tue, 03-04-2008 - 1:26am
I completely know what you mean. It's just so frustrating and I hate not having control over it and our feelings. I've read through the 4 stages of grieving but I've never felt angry because my ex has treated me so well. He has NEVER once mistreated me and it makes this whole acceptance thing harder. I am not in denial (ok maybe like 10%) about it since we haven't spoken in 3 weeks. It's just the desire to always be with him emotionally that bothers me and I can't accept or have trouble moving on. The dreams always pulls me back two steps when I think I am progressing. I am frustrated.