Scared of what will happen
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| Tue, 05-24-2005 - 2:20am |
It's my first relationship & his first after his long time g/f broke his heart over 3 years ago. We've been dating for 9 months & love each other dearly. We are compatible in every way except race & religion, though they are not issues of conflict between us. As far as our differences go, we learn from each other & appreciate the diversity in our relationship. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect (or want) to date this guy. I'd always wanted someone of my own race, my own religion, someone who could speak my language & meet my parents. Of course, he meets none of these requirements, yet we are so happy together. After long considerations, we both decided that breaking it off would be the most logical thing to do. He says that since there is not much hope of me telling my parents, it would be pointless to continue dating & prolonging the inevitable. It makes perfect sense, but I can't shake this feeling that something could really come of our relationship. It's too wonderful to throw away! I know the problems of an interracial relationship as well as anyone else. But, why would we be together if it wasn't meant to be?
It's really driving me up the wall...letting go of this man seems like the biggest mistake I make in my life. Neither of us is perfect & we have our problems, but we've always overcome them...it's as if we're breaking up out of convenience & we're just letting our relationship die without giving it a shot. Is this as wrong as I think it is? As it gets closer to the date when he leaves, I feel like I'm being forced by circumstance to sign a piece of paper that makes me break up with this wonderful man.
I can't believe this is happening to me...I've seen my friends through painful breakups, but nothing like this. No one around can possibly understand my situation & I can't talk to him about this...we end up in tears & it's more than I can take.
Please HELP!

Well, you sound somewhat like my situation;
My Profile:
First love broke up after almost 3 years of relationship last Friday, I broke it off.
Interacial relationship, both cried in the park.
Religion: different but never a problem, but culture is differnt enough to create our differences.
Reason we broke up: fears and expectations from each other
My problems: think making a bad mistake
Think he is too wonderful to let go
having too much pride to ask for a make up
cry everday ever since.
what I can help: not much as you can tell, but I want you to know you are not alone.
What you can do right not: cry, love yourself, really! Hope this mandatory pain will go easy on us tomorrow.
you are the only one that can change the outcome
why can't you introduce him to your mom?
it's your mom's problem if she doesn't accept him
at the moment it is your ego
you say you love him dearly
apparently, not enough
i'm surprised he dated you so long without meeting your family