second heartbreak
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second heartbreak
| Fri, 09-30-2005 - 4:32am |
I just think many things are unfair. I don't know if I'm bitter or what cuz my first ex treated me really bad and it took me awhile to get over him. After that, I told myself that my next boyfriend would treat me better than ever. Ever since that I kept my heart protected, trying to stay away from drama. Until I met this guy, I didn't like him at first cuz I didn't know him that well but he kept on chasing after me. Then I realized how much I clicked with him, that I could tell him alot of things even everything before I even started liking him. I even told him that I didn't want a relationship with any guys when he asked why, I told him cuz I don't want to get hurt again the fact that my ex cheated on me. He felt the same way too because his ex cheated on him. I guess that's how I found something in common with him, so I started telling him my personal problems because he was such a good friend and a good listener. When I was unsured about my feelings for him, I cried in front of him because I was afraid. I was afraid that I'd hurt him, or that he'd hurt me. Then he told me I was the first girl that made him get over his ex. Then after a week, I began to liked him alot. I don't know if cuz we had sex before, that made me felt like I really liked him. Which I really regret doing, because later on he felt unsure about his feelings. Then I found out because his ex kept on calling him, I knew him n his ex had gone through alot but I just thought it was unfair. And of course, he broke up with me and got back with her. It all just happened again, like my first ex. But I didn't care about my first ex anymore cuz he was a jerk anyway. I just couldn't believe that this current ex would do that, I guess I'm bitter because I was the one that didn't even wanna hang out with him and he kept on calling. That he traveled 500 miles for a girl, even he only met me once. And now, I'm the one that's being sad over it. Whenever I try to avoid being sad and drama, seems like they are all running towards me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what kind of advice I'm asking for. I guess I'm just sharing my feelings. I told myself that I'll be strong everyday, but I felt like I lost faith in guys in general. I know he's not the only one out there, but seems like deep down we had that connection cuz I liked him for who he's. I guess I just wish that he never came up and talk to me in the first place, cuz all these probably would've never happened. He told me he felt really gulity or bad for what he did to me. Yeah, feelings can't fight feelings. I just don't understand why this had to happen to me again. =T

hi there, i know this sucks...we all go through it, and really there's no way around it. it's life. and i know that doesn't make your sadness go away, but life is about taking chances, and sometimes things/relationships work out, and sometimes they don't, that's why this board exists..lol...we just have to learn from the experience and grow. and i know the feeling of wishing you didn't meet a certain someone, or what if this, and what if that.....i went through that myself, but that's not going to help the situation, and it won't make your pain go away, it might even make it worse. i think it's great that you're trying to be strong but it really is ok to cry and scream when you're sad and angry, i don't think you should fight those feelings because you're trying to be strong, i think you should allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.
by the way, how long were you with this current ex?
i wish you the best.