second time...was it a joke?
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| Wed, 11-01-2006 - 2:05am |
we both work together.... and i have a problem, we recetly broke up (july) and i left for a while, not because of him, it was planned...but my managers begged me back, and since i really did move on,and had a new boyfriend, i decided 'why not'
stupid me...from day one he begged me back, writing me letters, telling me he messed up (he left me for another girl)at first i laughed in his face and said too bad, but eventually i believed his words, and one day we ended up at his place. the next day he told me how happy he was that i had my feelings back, ,and he wanted us to be together...haha..jokes on me!!! within a week, it was back to the same old poo...excuse my french. then he went for ANOTHER GIRL...but told me he wanted to be with me. im so confused...and i hate myself. i was so strong after the break up but now my wounds are open again. im angry at myself for falling for it the second tiem when i swore to myself i woundn't. i dont want revenge, all i want is to understand why he would do that? was it to forgive himself? or was he trying to see if he could get me? or was he just messing around?
all my friends say that im the real thing and he just wants to mess around before settling down. OMG...i realize how stupid i really am just thinking about him, and making him my world, when all he did was cause me so much pain...GEESH
HOW DO I ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG, when we work together, (so no contact rule wont work.) please help me...i need all the advice i can get

lana0215...
Pianoguy's first thought (after reading your post) was the classic line:
"Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me!"
I think you need to ask yourself if you can work as a professional on a daily basis with this man? Forget the fact that other people 'pleaded and begged' to have you back. If you enjoy your job enough to overlook the fact that you were ONCE EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH A CO-WORKER...then approach him as part of your 'business relationship' AND NOTHING MORE!
You CAN'T remove pain or disappointment that has already happened...so 'beating up on yourself' is really a waste of time, don't you think? While your friends MAY or MAY NOT BE A SOURCE OF SUPPORT...you know better than any of them if you can 'tolerate the working environment and the people in it?'
Otherwise...you might want to start looking for a different job?
Pianoguy
....."i dont want revenge, all i want is to understand why he would do that?".....
Yup I gotta agree with PG and Sandra.
I am usually all for seeing different sides of the story and giving people the benefit of the doubt. But in this case, and there are many cases like this - he's a complete a-hole. There are people out there unfortunately. Anyway - what happened to your new boyfriend? You kinda left that info out. Did you dump him for this one? If thats the case you arent exactly in a position to judge the a-hole for his first time behavior but you certainly are with the second time. Just get out of the dirt, brush it off and walk away with dignity then LEARN from it. My experience with guys is that the more romantic eloquence and dramatic gestures, they are usually just empty words. The good guys they dont really shower you with love notes unless theyre really clingy and thats a whole different kinda problem. They usually keep it low key or at least thats been my experience. So whenever someone makes huge statements to me, I see it as a huge red flag. Thats my advice to you, thats what I see you could potentially learn from this situation. I hope things work out for you and that you figure out whether to stay at your job or not.
the question about the other boyfriend...we parted ways because he was not ready for anything serious, and i respected him for being honest. he helped me move on the first time...so i was grateful. right after this relationship ended, i went back to give the 'first love' and second chance...whoever said fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me is absolutely right. keep the support coming...def need some more advice