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| Sat, 01-15-2005 - 11:55am |
I met a amazing woman in August of 2001, September and its tragic events brought us closer together. for the next year we traveled some, did lots of things together when we could. My business kept me occupied, her carrear caused her to travel and be away for long periods. Once when we were in London, she told me that she thought I was the one. For a while I had been dropping hints, determining her ring size. (silly me.)
One thing kept bothering me was that she seemed unable to empathise, certinly I would overlook that but she had told me that she was Schitzoid (look up the definition) not schitzoiphrenic. Things werent going smoothly and we split. I thought ok deal. So I threw myself back into my work and eventually started dating.
I had a great time dating, but always somehow she would come back into my thoughts.
Then I got a call from her, and an invite lets have dinner. She told me she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Well all I could was offer support, whatever I could. I met her parents and family. We took weekend trips. I did what I could. She made it through chemo. We had another disagreement about my renting a room in my house to a female student which I hadn't told her. I didn't tell her because I thought she didn't need to know and since she wasn't a part of my life when I decided to rent it there was nothing I could do. So she freaked called me cheap and decided she just wanted to be friends.
Well I was sad, regretful. I felt that I had done the right thing in helping her and wanted to be selfless about it. Thought she wished to remain friends. I tried that and ultimately told her that being friends was too painful for me. That was this past summer.
Then I got a call from her, she needed help and she refered to the fact that I had not wanted no contact. But I couldn't help it so I returned her call. I didn't help her but made some suggestions. She was still traveling for work perhaps 6 months out of the year.
Well I emailed her and she would write to tell me of her travels. I had sent her a Christmas greeting and on Christmas she called. Then on News year I got a message sent to me on New Years eve at midnite.
My heart tells me one thing and my self preservation tells me this is toxic. One of my friends says tell me to tell her how I feel. All I know is that I think of her often.
When we first broke up she was cold, after the life altering experience she expressed the desire to be friends.
I know I can't be friends.
Dosen't life suck sometimes.
I have just gotten a great carrear position and am on the verge of attaining one of my goals.
I am gonna just see what happens and perhaps tell my feelings to the universe.
Its back to the dating scene. I am torn and It would be nice to hear your comments. good or bad
Thanks for reading.

You need to cut off all contact with her for a good long while, maybe forever. It's obvious you're not completely over her, so the intermittent contact just keeps you hooked in.
Block her from emailing you and get call rejection and block her from calling.
I disagree with your friend; telling her how you feel will just lead you to be involved with someone who doesn't sound capable of a healthy relationship (assuming she wants to try again). You need to move on.
Sheri
Just like your ex my ex wants to be friends but just like you I know I can't handle just being friends with the man I love so much.
So I here agree with Sheri that NO CONTACT is the best way to heal from your broken heart as its too difficult to accept the fact that your ex is enjoying life without you.
There's a saying which says :
"If you love someone set them free, if it was meant to be they will come back to you."
I truly believe in this !!
Also remember that there isn't just one person whom you can love in the world, so your next love might just be round the corner.
Good Luck !!
NYC Guy,
Here's my two cents, and perhaps it may seem very off, but this is the impression that I'm getting. It seems as though she doesn't know what she wants, and she's using you for emotional support. She seems to call whenever she needs help...hummmmmmm... Have you made it clear to her what you want (to be more than friends)? If you have, and she doesn't want to be anymore than friends, then listen to everyone and STOP all contact with her.
There are plenty of great women out there. Don't get dragged down by someone who doesn't know what she wants and just calls you when she needs help. You deserve more than that.
:D Hope this helps!
Good Luck,
Nina