Self loathing sets in
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| Tue, 09-20-2005 - 11:12am |
I feel so used now. I now realize that this guy used me for two years! I read a few chapters of "He's just not that into you" and I now know that when a guy SAYS he doesn't want a relationship it MEANS he doesn't want one with YOU! I thought I knew that, but this guy was calling me every hour on the hour and seeing me every day. Jeez we even lived together and whenever he even ran errands he took me with him!! He wouldn't let me out of his sight for god's sake!
How was I supposed to know that he didn't want a "future" or a real relationship with me. He acted like he couldn't get enough of me!! There was even a close friend of ours that told him if he wasn't really into me he should leave me alone and date others, and he said he knew that but he didn't want me to get away. He wanted to be able to experience me for as long as it suited him and then go on his way. he didn't want to "pass me up" even though he knew I wasn't the ONE.
I can't believe I wasted my time and my heart on him. I feel like killing him. I want to strangle him now. I feel sick. Can someone tell me who are these men that think the world owes them everything. How can men be so selfish and callous? Who are the women who are raising these originally innocent little boys into selfish men and why are there so many of them? Mothers need to really not let their little sons walk all over them and spoil them. I have a feeling that it is the mothers who are unknowingly teaching these men to be grown up self important brats.

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I read that book too and I credit it with giving me the strength to get this guy out of my life before I lost another year of my youth to him.
Did you ever get to let him know how you felt when it ended, that you felt he was extremely selfish and should have had the decency to be honest with you from the getgo?
Yes, I did get to let him know that he should have made it clear to me through his actions as well as his words that he didn't really want to "be" with me...and you know what he said? "Yeah you're probably right." >:( .....
How much does it cost to hire a contract killer?
I am new to this message board....but hope you do not think low of yourself. It's his loss....to miss out on a wonderful person like yourself. I have always believed and still do that "Love is a decision..." and time does come that the honeymoon stage and romance that was there in the beginning slowly wears out. That is were the "decision" part comes in where one or both partners do not to let emotion or lust control what happens next. It takes a lot of work which is why sometimes I myself have to evaluate myself everytime if a relationship is really all it is hyped to be.....because it does not always come easy. Even people who are married and for a long time swear that it takes a lot of work and compromises and sacrifice. Some people just cannot do it. So sometimes, I think, yes we always like to think there is someone out there.....for us since this current one did not work. But there is also a possibility there is no one.....maybe it is true that for some people, it is better to be single and unattached....we just need to be prepared and be strong and take care of ourselves and be happy nonetheless. I have not really had any relationship...and it was not me ending it. The guy just finds or meets someone else and decides I am not the one to be girlfriend with. So I do not even look anymore and just being busy improving myself. Right now I am in a "Friends with benefits" with a friend who is the first guy I ever slept with......he is my friend and I do care about him as a friend and more. So I guess I am not any expert in relationships either. I only allowed self-loathing to come in once when I first got brokenhearted 9 years ago...but you know what, after a year I realized that truly I was better off without that guy--he was married a year from my heartbreak with him with one of my friends and I saw that their married life-- their day-to-day is not something I would've wanted anyway. Anyway, now I try to be less serious, a little jaded maybe--- but always try to think good of myself whether the guy thinks I am "the one" or not. I hope you would always hold yourself in good esteem. Take care.
"Who are the women who are raising these originally innocent little boys into selfish men and why are there so many of them? Mothers need to really not let their little sons walk all over them and spoil them."
So it's OK for mothers to teach their daughters to be strong and independent, but heaven forbid if a young boy is raised to make his own decisions. Just because it didn't work out with this one guy does not mean that all men are selfish. Your comment about mothers and their sons indicates a veiled desire to control young men so that they can be dominated by women as adults...
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