Seriously, what does he want from me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2005
Seriously, what does he want from me?
4
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 3:58pm

Sorry that I keep posting about this ... and THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to respond. So last night at class I sat by my ex again and that part is fine but he asked me how my day was and then tried to crack jokes throughout class. We walked out to our cars together and then we went our separate ways. I went out with a friend after class so I wasn't home or online. I didn't respond to his last email on Wed. and I didn't email him or respond all day yesterday. This morning he emailed me THREE times ... asking me what was wrong and trying to make jokes and shoot the sh*t. I didn't respond until just now. I sent an email saying I just didn't have it in me right now to engage in casual banter. I was starting to get confused and he said he couldn't be with me anymore, so why did he want to talk to me so much? That was 15 minutes ago, so I guess I will see what he says. Seriously, though, what does he WANT from me? He gets almost panicky when I pull away ... but he is still keeping me at arm's length. Is this just a juvenile game? Does he need this cat and mouse game? I don't know what to think. He said when he broke up with me that he needed to sort through things and couldn't be with anyone right now and that he still had feelings for his ex. But then he deleted her from his myspace page and all of her comments but I am still his top "friend"and my comments are still posted. He has said he is not even talking to her. She supposedly changed her phone number after he told her about me and that he was choosing to be with me (this was the day BEFORE he broke up with ME). He told me a few days ago that he knew it wouldn't work out if he tried again with her. Any perspective here? Do you think she rejected him so he's scrambling back to me? Or maybe he just doesn't know which one of us to pick? Is he just a d*ck who wants to talk to me like he used to with no responsibility? Why does he keep emailing me, etc. if he doesn't want to be with me? I mean, THREE emails in two hours? Any male perspective would be appreciated.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 6:33pm
Have you read 'He's Scared. She's Scared.'? I highly recommend it.


Carrie

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 1:01am

Same answer as last time...because he's a selfish jerk who wants to keep you at his beck and call just in case.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 2:06pm
My input hasn't changed at all on this from the last time you posted it.

Myspace Codes

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 11-18-2006 - 2:16pm

Your focus is way too much on him. He is who he is. He's going to want to chit-chat so he's not seen as the 'bad guy'. Again, you will have to be the one to set boundaries.

Previous post for others to follow your story:
What is he doing?
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21394.1&ctx=128

Update Ignore him or be friends:
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21356.1&ctx=128

Ignore him or be friends with him?
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlbreaking&msg=21343.1&ctx=128


Carrie