a setback. please respond.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
a setback. please respond.
18
Thu, 03-06-2008 - 4:52pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 12:01am

thanks carrie.


i know i'm jumping the gun. i'm not a very patient person.


if only there was a guarantee things would happen/not happen to him/them. but in know there are no guarantees in life :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 12:02am

i dont usually wish bad on others. and i hope doing it in this case doesn't make me a bad person.


it's just my way of coping with this awful series of events, i guess.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:02am

I totally know what you mean by the karma thing. i think its probably even consumed me a little bit. i now have no hope in having a future with my ex so all i had was, he'll get whats coming to him. and of course, i don't see anything bad happening to him. like your ex, mine also jumped right into a relationship after our break up and it devastated me and of course everyone says, "oh they're probably just a rebound" , hmmm. i'm starting to think no, they're still together (well its only been about 3 months but still). my ex was raised to expect marriage at a pretty young age and has the mindset of not dating around and wasting time about finding someone. if you're with them stick to it (i was the exception). so i get really discouraged about anything happening to them. it seems he got lucky and found someone to be happy with while me, well, i go to school and work and come home alone and have no interest in other guys. i've definently gotten the raw end of the deal. let me not even mention that he looks about 10X better than he did when we broke up, he lost weight and now i'm like "great, he was stressed and didn't like me so he gained weight and now he's all happy and looks good and now his new girl will appreciate it"


I guess when we're left by someone we love the good things are just not going to happen as fast as we want them to. Our ex's are emotionally disconnected from us so they kind of have a clean slate and can start over and be happy while our slates are full of memories and pain and

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 1:27am

thanks for your reply. i just don't get any of this stuff. the feelings, the way things happen, it's all gibberish to me. and i'm probably trying too hard to make sense of it all. that's what i do when i feel i have no control over the situation. i don't want to feel this way or have the thoughts i've been having (letting stuff about him like the new rship still bug me; hoping that he and she get what's coming to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 2:48am

i'm with you on that one. i get advice from my friend alot but she really hasn't been through what i have. she's in a great relationship with a guy that is the opposite of my ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Fri, 03-07-2008 - 5:15pm

Hey Showtime-


Sorry I got here a little late. I don't visit as much as I used to, which is a good thing I guess. I know I would feel exactly like you did if I heard the same news about my ex. Even if was a year later. I know because I've experienced this with previous ex's. Maybe if you had a great relationship going at the time you heard the news, the sting wouldn't be so bad, but it's a sting nonetheless. You worry about it being a setback, but I actually don't think it is. I think it's "growth." This was just a painful hurdle, but it is pushing you forward. And I think you might be surprised that you will recover from this growth spurt quickly. I don't picture you dwelling on it for too long.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Sat, 03-08-2008 - 6:49pm
thanks. i hope i get through it quickly too. it's just felt like a setback because i hadn't had such horrible feelings in a long time. :*(
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2007
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 12:50am
hi there, i was feeling pretty bad these past few days, so i sent you a more detailed response through e-mail. i used whatever e-mail address you'd mailed me from a few months ago. please read when you get the chance. tahnks
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