Sex after break up..a sign?
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Sex after break up..a sign?
| Tue, 11-14-2006 - 4:20pm |
Ok i have no clue what to do or what to think.My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me 3 weeks ago because we got in a big fight over moving in with me.He had kept pushing off the move and we ended up getting into a lot of fights over it,well I gave him a ultimatum seeing i have been waiting for this move since Feb.I told him if this move doesn't happen by Oct i would be gone cause i'm tired of the accuses.I am not getting any younger 35 and i want a family sometime before I'm 40...LOL!! Well the move in date came and went and he ended up leaving me saying we fight to much.I went to his house asking him if he really didn't want to be with me anymore and he looked right in my eyes and said he doesn't want me anymore and wanted to cut all ties with me and never wanted to be with me again.He said that cause we have broke up a few times before and got back together.Now this made no sense to me seeing just 4 days before that we where looking at rings and he was saying how much he loved me and couldn't live without me bla bla bla his mother even called me to tell me he was going to move in and how he loved me sooo much.Well I thought I will give him a few days and leave him alone.Well I didn't hear from him for the rest of the week so I tried calling him on Friday and he wouldn't answer either phone so I left a message and he never called me back.Well I found out he didn't come home all weekend so I left a message asking for all the boxes I let him use for the move and instead of him calling me back he had his friend call me back and told me my x called him to tell him to get the boxes for me and he wouldn't tell his friend where he was,his friend said he thought he was up to something seeing he has been gone and he wont say where he is.So now I am really mad thinking he left me for someone else cause how can someone just stop caring about someone in 3 days?So everytime i tried calling him he would never answer.So I emailed him and emailed him and he final responded 3-4 days later and he told me he was done with me and to leave him alone.Ok I sucked it up and left him alone cause i can't make anyone love me or be with me and I'm not going to do that to myself.So a few days went by I didn't have any contact with him.He texts me when Im getting my nails done saying I have email from him,I couldn't respond so 10 mins go by and he sends it again then send another one saying fine don't answer,I final get home and read email and it just tells me my boxes are in his truck if i want to get them this weekend.I ended up not going to his house to get them cause I didn't want to see him cause it has been really hard for me lots of crying and no sleep.I left him alone again and sunday he texts me when I'm in the mall and my phone is in my truck asking if I want him to drop off boxes before school on Monday and he said I hope you are doing well.Then he sends a text saying "fine don't answer me sorry for bothering you".I finally got the texts an hour after he sent the first one and I sent him a text and said sorry I was in the mall and didn't have my phone.Expecting him to say oh sorry for jumping the gun but no he just texted me back and said "all I want to know is what you want to do with the boxes".He has been nothing but nasty to me since this whole break up so I just got fed up I said yup you can drop them off before school.Well before school he texts me and says I can go to his school and the boxes will be in the back of the truck,screw that I'm done chasing this guy I don't care about the boxes and I didn't go so he texts me again and says he has break at 7 and he will help me load my truck with boxes.I never responded nor did I go down there,he texts me again "or not" again I didn't answer.He texts again and says "must be at the mall again" like I was lien about it so I text him back and said nope I'm home and if you want to drop boxes off after school I will be home.It is really funny how he wont answer any of my calls,emails,texts but when he sends one I have to jump or he gets upset!!Well he comes over and drops boxes off and he is standing at the doorway looking at the tv but I know he is waiting for me to say something so I joked with him a bit and one thing lead to another and we started kissing and we ended up on the couch and he kept saying I can't do this I can't lead you to believe something thats not oh but I missed you.Well Im not the one who started it and didn't put a gun to his head and we ended up having sex.He gets up and says he has to go and kisses me on the forehead and says he will call tomorrow meaning today.I texted him this afternoon and asked "any regrets" and of course he never responded.I'm sure I hope I will hear from him later but I am so afraid he is going to say it was a mistake,when I love him so much and want to work on this.I just don't want to physically hear him say it was a mistake.Does it sound like he might want to get back together?I just don't know what to do :-( I know that I said I would be done with him if the move didn't happen but I didn't think I would have these feelings for him.

I honestly DO NOT think he wants to get back together with you just because you two had sex.
::I told him if this move doesn't happen by Oct i would be gone cause i'm tired of the excuses
Here's the thing, as soon as you said this, he made a back-up plan. He feels manipulated into making a decision. So if he would have moved in with you it would have been for the wrong reasons and later he'd resent it.
His back-up plan included being gone all weekend, doing whatever.
And why in the world would you want to be with someone that constantly tries to make you feel guilty, to manipulate you into responding to him all the while ignoring you when you make contact?
Carrie
well after reading your entire story it sounds like you really love this guy.seems that if you would give him anything and everything he has ever wanted.is he aware of that? most men such as myself dont relize what they actually have till its either to late or the have actually lost what they really had that was special.ultamadems men usually do not deal well with them actually not many people do was it wrong?thats probablly the question you keep asking yourself i dont feel you were wrong for doind what you did and how you went about it.eveyone has there own special ways from a mans point of view i would send him either a email or some form of communication in full detail let him know excatly how it is you feel you have probablly done this many times before atleast now if you actually sent one last email or form of communication and told him everything wait for any type of response dont pressure him or keep calling or any of that let him be the one to come crawling back to you.not the other way around well i hope some of these things i have said will shed light or possiblly help you in some way and best of luck to you and your future.
*charlie*
::He sleeps with me knowing how I feel about him and he says to me he made a mistake.Then to top it all off he told me he has been seeing someone!!Now I just feel ten times worse and gross.How can he be seeing someone then sleep with me?
Because in order for him to feel good about himself, he needs women to WANT him. It strokes his ego. And in this case, sex with you was just sex. As someone else said, it doesn't mean the same thing to you as it means to him. You have to be the one to ignore him, stop calling him, and if after 3 months, 6 months, a year, continue to ignore him.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Carrie
*charlie*
*charlie*
O MY GOD!!
I am so in your position. My ex is basically your ex I swear it!! Here's my story...
My ex left me and our 2 kids about 3 weeks ago. Told me he wasn't in love with me and doesn't want counseling. So whatever. A week later he comes over and asks if we can be sex buddies. He already has a new girl which makes me wonder if he really left me for her?? He said maybe he would find a new girl or i would find a new guy or we would get back together. So I said no and he had to leave. Well a few days later I called him and asked him if he wanted to have sex to come over. He said "we'll see". Well he never showed up. The next night he called came over and we had sex. Then his girlfriend called and he left. I felt like crap. So a few days later he wanted to have sex again and I said no. He hasn't asked me since.
My problem is that I love him so much and want him back. I know I was a bad girlfriend. We fought all the time and I basically now wish I wasn;t the way I Was. I will so change now!!! I feel he really left because he wanted to be single, party, and have freedom. I am so scared that we really are over. I feel your pain so much and I know it hurts.
write back and update me.