Sex life ruined

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
Sex life ruined
4
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 4:04pm

Maybe this is a bad analogy but I remember reading something about Shar Jackson describing her breakup from K Fed by saying he "cheated, lied, left." That basically describes what my ex did to me, and I've had a really hard time with it even though it was 5 months ago. We have a child together and it seems that every time I think I'm doing well, I have to see him or talk to him again and it puts me right back where I was before.

But my problem is this, and I don't know if this is going to sound really messed up but it's just how I feel. He RUINED my sex life. I've dated a bit since the breakup, although I know I'm still hung up on my ex and I'm not in a great place to start a new relationship. However I did want a rebound at least! In some weird way it seemed to me like if he was out there doing it, I was going to do the same thing. Except every time I get close to someone, I picture my ex doing the same thing with the girls he cheated on me with and I get totally turned off and disgusted. The thought of him with someone else still hurts me more than anything and I just want to get over this already but it still feels like our breakup happened yesterday. What can I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
In reply to: ness141
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 4:32pm

I know how you feel...sort of. I wasnt' cheated on but I feel like if someone comes near me again or touches me I'm going to throw up. I can't be with someone intimately without knowing they love and respect me. I don't feel that I will ever get that with someone so I feel ill to think about it.

I think the best thing to do is just give it time. I wouldn't rush into some rebound thing just to feel like your doing something. you might just want to keep a low profile you don't want to feel worse for doing something you regret on top of the breakup. Just be patient and hopefully things will turn out the right way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: ness141
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 4:42pm

Hi ness, I think that means you aren't really ready yet.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2007
In reply to: ness141
Tue, 02-27-2007 - 9:51pm
Those are really great suggestions, I'm going to try them - thanks so much :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
In reply to: ness141
Wed, 02-28-2007 - 2:29am
your not alone honey, i know the exact feeling, it kills you more than anything in the world, i have no answers for you, im going on 2 years now since me and my wife split up after 13 years, goodluck cause im not getting anybetter either, before you know it 5 months will be 2 years and your still gunne feel the saME painb as i do, it dont go away, just hang in there like im doing