She left me with no explanation, no reason, no goodbye

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2011
She left me with no explanation, no reason, no goodbye
19
Tue, 08-09-2011 - 11:51am

Just a simple question: What kind of girl breaks up with no communication whatsoever?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2011

Thank you for your reply...

OK, so maybe I'm old-school and a bit naive, but till the end, she talked about our connection being, "forever & always."

Was it all a lie?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
No one knows except her or you. Were you just a spectator ? When you saw that the distance was putting a strain on her , what steps did you guys take to cut it out? Or you chose to ignore it ( hence the result ) ?

When someone breaks out of the blue , its not really out of the blue.The person has, in way or the other , communicated ( hints, actions or words ) their unhappiness but the other involved , either doesnt take them or chooses not to.So , its not all about her.You too have contributed to the break up somehow.

If not, she was not happy with you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2011

I don't completely buy that it was me...

Actually, we were talking about our next rendezvous, which was to happen at the end of this month.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
I am sorry you are hurting .

Everyone is different and so are their breaking up ' styles'.

Its likely that someone said something about you which was a deal breaker for her an she had 100% reason to believe it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2011

OK, I'll step out of the box for a second and think objectively.

When she was a little girl, her daddy just got up and left her, mom and her little brother one day, never to come back.

She's simply repeating in her present/recent past relationship, what she learned to do from her father.

So, i'm feeling the collateral damage/effect of what he did to her.

This flash of sudden insight doesn't help the situation any though.

Thanks again for trying

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011

I understand your hurt and she didn't show the maturity to at least say "its over"

But remember - guys do this to girls all the time

Good luck - go date someone local - 'k

Penny

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Hi Christopher,

I think the key here is in her family history. Her father left her the same way - no explanation, no reason, no goodbye. I suspect she's learned to wall off her emotions about anything that hurts her, so she can't "feel" her decisions the same way you might.

For what it's worth, I'd tell you to thank your lucky stars you didn't get further involved with her, perhaps engaged or even married, and have this happen. In a few months you'll have more objectivity and you'll understand what I mean.

One of the best pieces of dating advice I ever got was from my mother. She said, and I quote: "Pay attention to how the parents treat each other, because that's how he (the boyfriend) will treat you."

I think if you could talk to anyone else she's dated they'd tell you the same story, and, I believe she'll do it again to someone else unless she gets help to understand what happened to her as a little girl isn't normal.

Lick your wounds and stop trying to communicate with her. "Unfriend" her on Facebook so you don't have to read her posts and get on with your life. There are more wonderful women out there - choose wisely. The one you marry will make you or break you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-1999

What kind of girl breaks up with no communication whatsoever?

dablacksox


Cynic: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.---Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011

Absolutely - couldn't have said it better

I knew my husbands family before I met him

When I met my first husbands family (after I was married) - they were all drunks - just like him - but he hid it so well - oh well - water under the bridge

I was only 24 - what can I say - LOL

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