Shocked

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
Shocked
4
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 3:26pm

I am sitting here just stunned. I haven't heard from the ex in 6+ weeks - ever since we had a big blowup and I told him we couldn't be friends. He never responded to that email.

Today I got a card from him. Telling me he was thinking of me. How he bought a new vacation house. Asked me how things were working out on the job front.

What the ??? I'm sure he thought I would have contacted him by now - maybe that is why he sent it. I know he started dating someone right away (just like last time) so why is he doing this? He did the same thing last time and it tore me up for 6 months.

Any ideas or should I just assume he's insane?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: purpleshoes2005
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 3:33pm

He's not "insane", he's just thinking of you and wants to know you're ok. However, he doesn't realize that contacting you is selfish of him at this point. I'm sure there's some ego involved, too, maybe some guilt, and a need to know you don't think he's a bad guy for breaking up with you.

I'd throw the card away and continue to not have contact with him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: purpleshoes2005
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 4:17pm

I'm sure you are right - he can't stand the thought of anyone not liking him. And you are dead on about the ego and guilt. It is important to him that people think he is a nice guy. When we first start dating he would constantly tell me "ask anyone, I'm a nice guy."

I'm not going to respond, although not doing so always makes ME feel guilty - like I am being mean or cruel. It's not my nature to just ignore someone, but I have to keep reminding myself how cruel he was to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2003
In reply to: purpleshoes2005
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 10:29pm
I think it's best if you don't respond at all. I hear what you are saying...my ex has done the same thing to me three times and this time we haven't talked for a month. I'm sure at some point he'll contact me like he always does. It's not in my nature to ignore someone either and I've been hurt each time I have responded and we've fallen back into the same pattern. I think taking care of yourself is the priority and you know you've done nothing wrong, remember that and don't respond. It will save you a lot of emotional energy in the long run and keep you on the path of moving on and finding someone who isn't selfish. Good luck and stay strong!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
In reply to: purpleshoes2005
Sun, 07-10-2005 - 1:36am
It's possible that he wants aboost to his ego. I'd forget about the card and him.