Shocked, and heart is totally aching rig

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2006
Shocked, and heart is totally aching rig
1
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 5:22am

Hi all,

Some of you may remember me as I posted a bunch in december that got me through my breakup for a month---I was wrong that I should have cut off all communication with my X, but I didn't and now the situation today is...

Of course, I went back to my X in January. He was served criminal papers for what he did and you were all soo right that he wooooo me and try to do everything to get me back which he successfully did with promises that everything would be so much better, how wrong he was, lots of flowers and cards, and even a trip to brazil where he reproposed in early february. My family was mad at me that I chose to go back to him after what he did and they no longer talk to me and of course he said that was alright.

The court case was a long three month of meetings---he even paid for an attorney for me to testify that he was upset for the week he violated me and I don't believe he would ever do it again. We had to go to court many times along with twice a week therapy sessions and I moved back in as he asked. Then what do you know, the case was finally over ten days ago and then we sat in therapy on thursday and it went from the night before of I love and will always love to a letter in our therapy session that he no longers believes that he is my perfect match along with a very blunt I am going to go on a business trip for five days and to have my stuff out by this coming wednesday or he will have the police remove it. I was in tears and shock.

Then I met with my therapist today and she even said that I was shocked by his final outome as well as it seemed that he really cared for you the past months in therapy and things were working out.

I have so many feelings running through my head---scared, sad, mad; and I not to the very angry part yet, as I just want to understand more. We have been together nonstop since Jan 1 and then suddenly the evening after therapy he went to his friends house and just took off to nowhere I know. He won't answer his phone from my calls (I know I shouldn't be calling, but I just don't understand). I know I should be so mad right now, but my heart is just aching.

Your helpful advice would be so very much appreciated.

Thank you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 04-22-2007 - 6:13pm

Hello there. I'm sorry you're passing through a difficult time. The sudden change of heart on your BF's part may be due to some deep thinking on his part. He may feel that, through therapy, he realizes that you deserve better than him, or that he no longer loves you as he did before.

By your post, it appears that he turned violent and aggressive toward you. You initially removed yourself from the situation, but went back when he begged you to come back. The therapy sessions may have had some impact on his desicion OR he may have been thinking about it for long. In any case, he's told you that you're though. Take time for yourself and continue your therapy to deal with the loss.