Should I feel bad?
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| Sat, 03-17-2007 - 11:37pm |
I dated a guy for 6 months and we never had sex during that time. We broke up and it was hard for the first couple of months but then I was doing ok. We have remained in contact b/c we go to the same school and have the same friends although I have distanced myself from him a lot. I understand and accept that he was not a very good bf and we are not meant to be together... The problem is that I feel this super strong physical chemistry with him despite all the crap that we went through after the breakup (he started dating someone soon afterwards)
To make a long story short, he came by last night to watch a movie and one thing led to another, we ended up having sex. I didn't expect it to go that far but I'll admit that neither of us stopped the progression of events. The weird thing is that I don't expect him to want to get back together (After 8mts of being broken up), nor do I want to start anything again either and I know he feels the same.
This has never happened to me before and I don't really know how to react. To make things more complicated/messed up.. I was a virgin until last night. The whole experience was actually nice though (compared to what I hear from other ppl's first time.) ...and I don't regret it (yet) because we both still care alot about each other even though we are not "meant to be". I guess I'm in a bit of a flurry of thoughts right now and I don't know what to think. I'm not sure what to do now. Just think it was a good experience and then move on?

skyehigh2...
Pianoguy can't respond the way many ivillage ladies might? But if you have no objections to a male point of view...here goes!
I think it was inevitable that after 6 months...the 2 of you would probably have a sexual encounter. .
By the tone of your post, you don't seem to be angry or bitter that about your "close encounter?" And you both have agreed with each other that this was a one time only 'event!'
My only suggestion is that if another man "turns you on in the future"---don't make comparisons between HIM and your EX! Some of us know how to be gentle with a woman, while others play a little too rough! So if you're expecting the same sort of behavior in the bedroom from every man you have SEX with, you're probably going to be disappointed on a few occasions?
Best wishes and warm thoughts...
Pianoguy
Hi skyehigh2 and welcome to the board,
Is he still dating? Was it serious with her?
He told me after we slept together that he still doesn't feel he can give me what I want from a relationship so he doesn't want to start anything. And I agree with him on that so I'm not expecting anything. It feels like we're back together tho because of the way he acts and how we are when we're together.
We've slept together a few times again since then.
I think my biggest fear is that he's going to meet a new girl and be gone again. Cause if it happens again then I know I will have to cut him 100%.
Also, I guess deep down I know that by having this pseudo-relationship with him, I'm slowing my "getting over him process".. which has been going on for a long time.
I'm still open to meeting new guys and seeing who else is available to me, but I guess I still feel attached to this guy and like having him in my life and being intimate with him.