should I give it another try?
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should I give it another try?
| Sun, 01-20-2008 - 2:43pm |
So I broke up with my ex about 5 months ago and have been single since then. He really was a wonderful guy and I'm afraid I might have ruined something wonderful. Honestly, I broke up with him because his sense of humor got to be really annoying. It probably sounds like such a lame reason, but he would crack jokes that just weren't funny and I couldn't laugh at them. He'd also laugh when I'd be trying to tell him something serious. He says it was because I would look so cute while I was talking that he couldn't help but laugh. Besides his sense of humor, I think I could have seen myself marrying him. He's one of the sweetest guys I've ever met...he treated me like a princess and I know he would have done anything for me. Is someone's sense of humor a big enough of a deal to break up with someone? Should I have just accepted it as being part of his personality? I know he REALLY liked me and was very hurt when we broke up so I don't know if he would even want to see me or trust me with his heart again. What do you all think? Should I try to see if he would be willing to start hanging out again or should I leave him alone? I'm afraid that if I do start hanging out with him, that I'd get annoyed with his humor again and then hurt him even more by leading him on or getting his hopes up again.

Welcome to the board funstuff85,
::I'm afraid that if I do start hanging out with him, that I'd get annoyed with his humor again and then hurt him even more by leading him on or getting his hopes up again.
That is probably what would happen. If his humor diminishes you and your feelings, chances are you will continue to feel this way and he's not going to be able to change as joking is how he copes.
When you ask a man what attracts him first to a woman usually it's her looks and that's not necessarily a shallow thing since men are very *visual* creatures. When you ask a women the same question, the first thing out of her mouth is usually whatever she considers to be a good sense of humor, because women are very *auditory*. Men fall in love with their eyes, women with their ears. Been true for thousands of years, and it's not about to chage now, but just like simply any good-looking woman is not going to be attractive to every man, each sense of humor is also very individual.
If his sense of humor wasn't to your taste, I doubt highly that either his sense of it or your acceptance of it will have changed all that much in five months. He has every right to find someone who thinks he's a riot and he can keep happy easily, and you have every right to be kept happy and laughing by someone whose humor you get.
You didn't "get" each other, and that's absolutely NO reflection either of you as individuals, but it spells doom for you as a couple. In the short term, humor may not be such a big deal, but in the long term, sometimes, that's all a couple has to keep them together through the rough patches. If they don't have that to cushion the hard times, their relationship and life will be very unhappy indeed.
Best,