should i go out

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2007
should i go out
8
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 2:28am

I am still going through different fazes of grieving for my ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 6:48am

I started spending time with people immediately. Right after the break-up, I spent a few days at friends' home. It was mostly a lot of crying. But I was with others. Then I picked a couple close, non-mutual friends who I felt completely comfortable with and we went on long walks and similar low-pressure excursions outside town. It was light exercise, a change of scenary, and yet I could be myself completely (which means have a good cry if I was so moved). I avoided mutual haunts and friends like the plague. It has been very healing. (I'm almost 2 months in).

I've slowly reconnected with mutual friends. I find I'm insecure around them, so I've been approaching that slowly and with care, and only with those who I was very close with.

That's what works for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 12:50pm

You have to decide what you can handle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 2:35pm

It took me about a month to finally really get out and about (other than family and a couple of close friends) I had to force myself then but it got easier each time I did it. If you are not comfortable with the people I wouldn't go.

Please the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay with NC. I know it is hard but it is so worth it. Every time you are in contact with him it just delays the healing process, so the longer you continue to stay in contact the longer it will take. You are delaying your own healing. You can do it..... Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Mon, 11-05-2007 - 11:19pm

For what it's worth, right after my break up, my friends dragged me out every single day, with kicking and screaming involved sometimes...and in retrospect, I'm pretty happy I did it. I wasn't happy at the time, but it was better than sitting at home mulling over the whys and what ifs.

cheers

- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 11:48am

I think that's good advice about not sitting home even if your friends are dragging you out.... but


"i have been invited out tomorrow to a race day with a group of people whom i do not really know that well and i actually feel a little uncomfortable in front of some of them as they are friends with the ex."






iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 3:18pm
But then she sounds like she's just moping at home. It doesn't necessarily have to be to this race outing, but schedule something else on the same day then.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 3:26pm
Good idea. Love your siggy!!! Very cute.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 4:04pm
laughs. actually snoopy is my favourite character.
- There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your