Should I stay or go?
Find a Conversation
Should I stay or go?
| Wed, 02-28-2007 - 8:51pm |
Okay, more than 3 weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. I decided to remain friends with him because I did not want him all the way out of my life. Well, it soon became friends with benefits (if you know what I mean) and him and I still acted like 'friends.' I wanted to go out to see a game and asked him if he wanted to go see a hockey game one night and he said 'No, I have a date' well, I told him that it hurt when he said that and I need some time away. Well that next day my ex calls my sister and said that he doesn't know if it's over between us and he can't say yes or no...he just wants to see where 'we' go from now. So I hear this and decide to start hanging around him again hoping for something and we cuddle in bed and hang out watching movies. One morning I leave without saying goodbye and he even calls me asking why I didn't say goodbye to him and asking if I'm mad at him for any reason. The other day I call him at night and he doesn't pick up and the next day (today) he calls me and said that he went out drinking and today he has to go out to dinner with someone and we could hang out afterward. I txt msg him and it says "no don't call me, I am tired of being happy getting anything from you." and he calls me after he gets the msg and is all saying our friendship is something and I want to know you forever and he said he had to go but wanted to talk about this later after his job. I'm tired but I still want him and adore him...why is he doing this to me?

Hon, he's not doing this to you, you ARE allowing it to happen. You want him to be in your life and he's got the control of the whole deal of "friends with benefits". He hangs with you at his own convenience. He's just seeing to get some every time he wants and he knows that you'll give it to him because you love him. You, on the other hand, stay in the situation hoping for a change....which won't happen. He's happy with the deal you both have, he gets to have sex with you and date other women. You're not happy. Are you sure he's not sleeping around?
If he wants to be friends, then be friends but without the sex. Friends don't have sex or cuddle. Having sex with him at his request won't take you back to where you were when dating OR will it change his mind. If you can't handle him and his dating escapades then the healthiest thing to do for YOU is to leave him alone. He even told your sister that he wants to see where things go with you, BUT he's not making any committments to you. He's committed to himself and dating, that's it.
Look at it from this point of view: is it worth to have him in your life if you have to sacrifice your happiness and only be the object of his sexual release? He sees you as a friend and likes your body. He gets to date other women, so it's not an exclusive thing the one you have going on.
Hi lauratx26 and welcome to the board.
::why is he doing this to me?
Because you let him.