Should I Stay...or Should I Go
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Should I Stay...or Should I Go
| Wed, 03-14-2007 - 2:20pm |
I have finally married the man who I have been in love with for 23 years, (we've been married 3 years), and now I am ready to be divorced (I think). He is very mean and controlling to me. We cannot communicate(talk)about any problems without him screaming in my face. When he is angry, he looses control. He has never hit me, but, I feel so bruised inside. When I try to calm him down by keeping my voice down--he tells me to SHUT UP!!! and don't talk to him. This is what happens when he gets angry with me. When I am unhappy with something that he has done, I come to him in a rational way--and he still gets angry and loud (even when he is wrong), he makes me regret ever disagreeing with him or having a different opinion. He leaves the house for hours and comes home drunk, he locks me out of out bedroom so that I cannot talk to him. He has even told me that he is leaving me because he can't talk to me, but he never leaves. I cry for days on end, and then finally after days of trying to talk to him he will calm down and the house goes back to normal. He never says that he is sorry. We rarely have sex more than 4 times per month. I recently had a hysterectomy because I was having health problems-I don't think that is the problem. We have 3 children together (ages 21, 17, and 13), they are tired of hearing us argue. I try to keep it down so that the kids don't hear, but when they look at my face, they can tell that I am upset. I need to have some advice because I am at my wits end. I don't know why he wants to control everything in our house. Our arguements are never over anything that can't be worked out without talking, but what can you do when he won't talk to me. I am not a aggressive person, I can't scream as loud as he can. I am tired. Help me! Is it time to leave now before I get to old. I am 43, but, I feel like I am 63. We have been best friends since I was 16 and he was 19--it's hard to say goodbye to someone who you still love. Please, someone who has been in a longterm relationship, give me some advise.

Hi prettyklm and welcome to the board.
I wish they would have an 'abuse awareness' day in High School and give examples of verbal, mental/emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
Hi cl-itwinflame,
Thanks for responding to me. I am very alone right now. I work out of my house on the computer, and I don't have any friends any more because I have been too ashamed to let them know how sad I am. I don't tell my family because they keep saying to me "ignore him, you know how he is...he will get over it", but how will I survive until he gets ready to "get over it". Most of the time there is nothing to "get over". He just does not want to compromise or discuss anything, ever. I really don't know what to do anymore. I will try to get some counseling, for myself. I don't think that my husband will think that he needs counseling. I have been trying to stay with him for the next 5 years,(that was at least my goal since we've been together for so long), until our son turns 18 and goes off to college--they are very close. He is a good father to our 2 daughters and our son, I just don't think that we are friends any more. That makes me extremely sad--we used to be best friends.