Sick in stomach, not sure if breaking up
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| Wed, 06-07-2006 - 8:26pm |
My boyfriend went away for 5 days and didn't call me at all. He didn't come say bye to me and when he came back didn't even visit me. Before and after his leave, he tells me that he is always busy and doesn't have time. We were together for 8 years and it's been an on-going problem that we never spend anytime together, he has stood me up a couple of times and because of my 'desperation' I have been calling him at his job everyday to the point he got upset and even asked me if I was retarded or stupid because he kept saying he was busy. I feel like I kept trying to get something out of him he was not willing to give--answers and some time like we used to spend together...quality time...we go without intimacy for more than 2 months and it seems okay with him, he expesses nothing to me. But then he says he stills loves me and to just be patient with him, but I've done that and feel like a worthless girlfriend he's now walking all over...
But anyway, my main point today is that after those 5 days I felt like I took the last straw for each day that went by that he didn't call. Not only did I feel depressed but very sick to my stomach...I force myself to eat and feel like I have a heavy feeling in my gut and I don't and can't talk to him again. I feel like I can't face up to him anymore and feel sick to my stomach since he was my first love and after 8 years together. I can't say if it's over or not, but he's the type to never apologize. Honestly if he would and said he understands my needs in this relationship and wanted to make changes to cater our relationship I would stay with him. He hasn't called since the day after he came back since I guess he didn't return my phone calls.
I'm just sad, depressed, and hurting because I'm in limbo and don't even know what to say to him because I think I already know what he's going to say. Our last conversations have been arguments and I just wish it wasn't over, but I just don't think he cares and I don't have the stregnth or energy to face up to him again and probably coming to grips that is over, although I hope that it really isn't. When he calls I don't even feel like picking up, still have these rocks in my stomach that makes me sick...I guess I just don't know at this point if I should write him or letter or just take some time to collect and analyze my feelings about all of this...

Ok...hon, why do you put UP with that kind of treatment??? Why don't YOU be the one to break up, because you deserve better than a guy who never has time for you, after 8 YEARS together???
He's not going to change...what gives you any good reason to think that's going to happen?
Stop the limbo--make your OWN decision and move on!
Sheri
Hi,
I read your posting tonight and felt for you so strongly. It is 3 a.m. in the morning and I am up because I have just broken up with my on and off again boyfriend of 6 years. Basically, I was going through the same thing you just described. So similar that it was as if you were in my head. I have felt so depressed and anxious for the past week and a half. I knew something was up because I have experienced it so many times (too many too count). We had some really good times and I think to some extent he did love me. But, these kinds of relationships are toxic. It is so easy to stay in them, holding on to the good memories and ignorning the bad. I started counselling last week to see if I can strenghten my confidence and self-esteem. Maybe that can help you gain perspective. Good luck with everything. Take care of yourself. AM
I agree with the others, taking a time out (initiated by YOU) and getting some help analyzing your feelings about all this would be immensely helpful. If nothgn else, it will help you figure out that this relationship, while probably comfortable because it's what you "know," hasn't been the healthiest for you from the sounds of it. By the time you get done with all the "figuring out" you need to do, you may just find you're too groovy for this kind of relationship anyway.
Good luck,
Sandra