Single life - day one . . .

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Single life - day one . . .
3
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 5:22am
Hey there,

It finally happened, in a way I knew it had been coming for ages, but in another way it was still a shock. I won't bore you with the details, but we were arguing (as usual), and he said I should move out for a few days. At this point I usually got all upset and started apologising etc, but this time, I agreed, and I left.

I'm so tired of all the fighting and all the crap that causes it. I just thought, 'why'? I felt like I was putting in so much effort but he was making it so hard for us to just be together and be happy. No matter what I did it never seemed to be enough - and he seemed to love pushing me further and further to see how long it would take to make me snap and lose my temper. I didn't this time - I managed to walk away with my dignity - no crying, begging or screaming, and I'm really proud of myself. I realise that in any relationship you have to 'modify' yourself and your behaviour a little bit, but I felt like he wanted me to be a different person entirely.

Well, now I'm single, and truth be told I'm a bit uppy-downy at the moment. One second I do miss him - it was so hard sleeping on my own for the first time in months - then the next second I'm thinking 'screw him I'm fab, he's clearly a complete loser who's never going to find someone as good as me . . etc etc'.

Well, at the moment I'm trying to keep myself busy so I don't have time to think about it - I'm not sure if that's a good plan or not - will 'avoiding it', so to speak, mean it will be even worse later on? Today I'm going to write an essay, clean my room and my flat, go to the gym, then tonight I'm going out with some friends. I'm quite looking forward to getting back to some 'me' time, doing what I want and when, without it causing an argument and not having to justify my behaviour to anyone but myself.

I'm a little bit worried that when I finally see him - and I've got a feeling it will happen sooner rather than later - all these good plans I have will just fall apart and I will turn into a train wreck of an emotional mess.

Thanks for listening - if you got this far! lol. Any comments would be much appreciated.

Ms xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 11:48am
hey there, well girl we are on the same page. im currently single myself and its day seven for me. its not so bad. we broke up on mutual terms and are best friends, which make it easier. but i had a relationship before exactly like yours and i promise it will get better. you are already doing the right thing by staying busy. at the time of my past breakup, i worked two jubs so that took up all of my time basically, which was great. i made new friends and just put him out of my mind as much as possible. if you need someone to talk with just post here or email me anytime at kristy@cinderellapageant.com take care and be strong!
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 10:54am
Hey there,

Thanks for the reply - day two, and I'm a bit hungover, but fine!

I was just wondering though. . .

We had our problems and we split up - but we never really said why we split up if you see what I mean. Should I ask him for a 'reason' to try and get some sort of closure, or should I just accept that things didn't work out just because it wasn't meant to be?

Any advice, comments, suggestions would be much appreciated

Ms xxx

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 12:21pm
your welcome, your post hit my heart pretty hard because it is identical to my very first breakup. from what i know and how i am, i have to have closure in order to at least try and move on. if you can i would try to ask him his reason for breaking up, but do so in a calm and understanding manner. if by chance he isnt willing to give you a reason, then you must accept the breakup and try your best to move on with your life. it does get easier, i promise, but staying busy is the only way to get through it. if you wanna talk just post here or email me anytime at kristy@cinderellapageant.com i am more than willing to help and understand what you are going through, you're on the right path!

sincerely,

km2004:)