Slow and Steady.. need some advice?

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Slow and Steady.. need some advice?
1
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 10:55am
My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me a little over 2 months ago. It was out of nowhere and like anyone going through a breakup I was devestated. The story goes something like this: We are young and in college, and this was my first real relationship. He had a previous one in high school that was long but always told me it was nothing like this. I suppose in college with the freedom and ability to stay with eachother every night makes the relationship move faster. We have very similar interests and got along perfectly with eachother's friends. It was fun. He said he loved me first and it took me a while to say it back. I had been hurt once before and was slightly skeptical about being "in love" so young. But eventually I let myself fall in love and things were great. In late Febuary my parents and his mom both happened to be visiting us. Our moms met and everything seemed great. Then the next week he had a breakdown on me, saying he was failing school, might transfer, might move out of the house he shares with his friends, has to get a job to pay for car insurance (he had DUI and just got his car back) Basically he told me he couldnt be with me because he had to figure things out. It was hard and I told him I wanted to help him but thats all I could say. The next week I asked to talk, I really needed to know if he just needed time to sort out his life. Well instead I got the whole, I just dont love you anymore like I used to. My feelings have changed and I dont see a future for us. He told me 95% of the time we're great but 5% we're not. Well shoot that hurt. I never really cried or anything in front of him (saved that for later). I think the shock was too great. Anyways he left and that was the last time we really have talked. I've seen him around school and said hello but thats about it. It shocked everyone. None of my friends, his friends, or mutual friends could believe it. Most of them told me he'd be back in no time. Well less than a month later he was seeing another girl and I was again broken-hearted. I emailed him 2 months later asking if he wanted some of his stuff back... no reponse. He has since moved out of the house with his friends and I no longer know anything about his life. It's been hard and I havent been able to really even show interest with other guys. Until lately I met someone and while I'm just looking to have fun this summer I am so scared of even the pain of rejection. I am scared to let another person share in my life even a little bit. I'm finally starting to get over my ex and want to explore this new guy. Any suggestions on how to really move on and let someone else in? Because I'm having such a hard time. Any thoughts on my story as well. Man this break up stuff is hard!
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 2:06pm
welcome to the board.