So confused:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
So confused:(
6
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 12:39am
Okay for the last 2 weeks my ex and I have been trying to be friends. We both wanted to, we both said we still cared enough to talk and everything. That we still wanted to be friends because he had loved eachother so much. There was no harm in still being friends, him still being my bestfriend. But the last 2 days that ive talked to him hes seemed more distant than before. I thought maybe I had said something wrong and he was upset at me. But just tonight, his cousin came online. And I told her about everything that my ex has been telling me about my new boyfriend. He makes sense I understand him. Hes my bestfriend, and trying to help me along and everything. Then shes like, why do u listen to him. Im like cuz hes my bestfriend, I trust him. And shes like why are talking to him, he doesnt want to be friends with you. I was like...WHAT?!?!? you b**ch. I wanted to slap her. But I couldnt. So I played along. I was like I know, but that doesnt stop him from being my bestfriend. And shes like but he doesnt want to be, he doesnt want to talk to you, hes giving you bad advice so that you`ll get hurt. I was like, he doesnt want to hurt me. Shes like yes he does, he hates you......And that was it. I couldnt talk to her anymore. I blocked him, deleted him, through everything out...I was horrified. Id been trying to befriend someone who hated me, who didnt want to talk to me. But I dont know if it was true. I could have over reacted. Maybe she was lying, or didnt know the story. But if he didnt want to talk to me, then why did he. Why does he still share his secrets with me. Why does he still care. Hes not giving me bad advice. Hes helping, sometimes. Neither of us know what we want. But if its true, and he doesnt want to be my friend, and he does hate me, then why didnt he tell me? Why does he continue to talk to me as if we are friends, as if we`ve been friends forever. But if shes not telling the truth, then why would she lie like that. They are family. Im friends with both of them. They are like bestfriends. I dont get whats going on...please someone help me! im so confused!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
In reply to: angel4259
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 2:27pm
When people have a hidden agenda, it's hard to see. If someone hates you, but wants to hurt you, they aren't going to tell you they hate you. Who knows which one of them is lying? My best suggestion is that you take time to heal yourself by staying away from both of them.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: angel4259
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 6:51pm

It is very hard to be friends with an ex unless there are no deep emotional feelings (positive or negative )on both sides. My advice to you is to stay away from him, his family and friends and move on with you life without them in it. I have stayed friends with a guy I dated 15 years ago only because I never fell in love with him. He is married with 2 kids and I get along with his wife and adore his kids. Now, my ex who dumped me almost 7 months ago is a different story. I was deeply in love with him and was very heartbroken so I right now, I can not be friends with him and have stayed far, far away from him and his friends and that has helped me move on.

Besides, who wants to be friends with someone if they hate you and want to hurt you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
In reply to: angel4259
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 6:55pm
I dont know if its true tho. Hes never showed any signs of wanting me out of his life, no signs of not wanting to be friends. I told him what she said, and he called her a b**ch, and said she had no right going around spreading lies like that. But why would she of said it if it wasnt true. Shes my friend after all..isnt she.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: angel4259
Sat, 01-13-2007 - 7:57pm

Well.....I would trust one of my friends before trusting an ex-boyfriend. If worse come to worse, the three of you may need to sit down and find out who is telling the truth.

Good Luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2007
In reply to: angel4259
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 11:37am
The thing is, my ex boyfriend is my friend. My best friend. And I have a years worth of trust between him and me. Im only friends with his cousin because of him, so maybe when him and I broke up she turned on me? I dont know. And my boyfriend and I now, only have like 2 weeks worth of trust. So its so confusing. And its taking its toll on my boyfriend. Hes getting so upset that I dont believe him over my ex, its not that I dont want to trust him. Its just so cunfusing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
In reply to: angel4259
Sun, 01-14-2007 - 11:50am

Is this the same cousin of his and friend of yours that you had issues with like a week ago about spreading other stories between you and his family or hhim and your family?

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