So confused!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
So confused!!!
4
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 8:51am
Hi all - I've been posting here the last few weeks and you all have been wonderful in helping me through my pain. I've been going through the process of trying to heal, when out of the blue I heard from my ex. We talked for a bit, idle chit chat, then he asked me if I still wanted to see him the 4th of July as planned. I was shocked to say the least! I was really tempted to ask him is he was crazy/high/out of his mind! I told him no because I don't want to go as "just friends" to hang out with he and his family. It's so hard you guys because I do want nothing more than to see him but I feel like I have to protect myself. It's not as if he's saying he wants to really try to work this out and sorry he made a mistake or anything like that. I'm just so confused now. Help :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
In reply to: ka1964
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 9:38am

"It's so hard you guys because I do want nothing more than to see him but I feel like I have to protect myself."

You were in the process of healing and he calls you out of the blue, in a way it kinda takes you back a few steps b/c you'll probably be thinking about it now. If you got the vibe that he wasn't really interested in making it work then I suggest that you skip the 'get together' with him. It'll only make things worse for you.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2005
In reply to: ka1964
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 10:25am

Don't do the Just Friends things! I know you've heard from many people on this board telling you why - this will do nothing but hurt you. Cut off contact, and that means not answering the phone when he calls. If you really want to work this out (and you honestly think he is willing to work on himself and the relationship) then let him know - via email - that you are not interested in remaining friends. If he wants to get back together, he can let you know. Otherwise he should respect your feelings and leave you alone.

It REALLY, REALLY is a bad idea to keep in contact when the breakup is so fresh. Talking or emailing him will just keep you from healing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
In reply to: ka1964
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 2:44pm
Ok, this is broken-heart and bitter speaking: you are not confused, he does not want the relationship back, he just doesn't want to show up looking lonely and like a loser. Confusion comes in because you still want/hope for more, and he wants arm candy. Be busy, he lost out on you. Unless he comes out with some freakin apologies out the yingyang and promises of forever, then keep on truckin in the other direction.
You deserve better, bug hug
Grace
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
In reply to: ka1964
Thu, 06-09-2005 - 5:44pm
Don't go! Breaking up is hard but being a yo-yo is worse. Since you are not fully healed you don't know what is going to happen when you see him. Perhaps a rush of old feelings will return and you might have a new wave of heartache to deal with. I don't know how he feels about you but you don't want to be back to square one or even the possibility of it. I just don't think it's a good idea. Be strong, continue your healing and put yourself first.