so confused
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| Thu, 11-22-2007 - 12:10am |
New to the village...
We've been married 16yrs. Three teens. At year 5 he said he didn't love me anymore and moved out for 2 1/2 months. Came home, had a wonderful life together. We didn't argue or fight... sure debt and money are always an issue, but we don't fight about it... we sort of ignore it I guess.
Anyway in May this year he said it again, don't love you, really care about you, I'm not happy. Moved out and in with someone else for 7 weeks. I was devestated. We saw each other often while he was away. It broke his heart when our 13yo said do you think if I ask Dad to come home he will... not long after that he did come home. Said he was going to really try to make it work... wanted to have a future together... Until now. This past Thursday he said it again!! "I really care for you, hate that I'm hurting you again, I'm just not in love, A part of me will always love you"... He really is sincere! But he isn't happy! I ask what it is he isn't happy about and he doesn't know! He can't pinpoint specific things that made him happy when he was with "her" during the summer, and at the same time he can't give specifics about what it is that makes him unhappy at home! It's so confusing. He treats me great!! I love him dearly, this is breaking my heart! I keep thinking sure it may take a year or two or whatever for him to realize his mistake and come home... but his pride will keep him away or he won't come back because he'll be afraid to break my heart again! I don't know! We do a lot of emailing while he's at work... we do some talking about it when we can, at home... usually ends in us crying together. He can't believe that I haven't thrown his stuff out in the driveway.
I of course worry about what this will do to the kids. NOt like we're a disfunctional family. They've grown up in a wonderful loving home. We've NEVER yelled at one another... we don't argue! They're 13, 14 and 15... I know the next few years are going to be hard for them, they're teens!! But add this to the mix and I pray they don't end up screwed up!!
I worry about finances... we bought a home not long ago, he says he wants me to keep it. I don't know how we could afford to if he's going to be having to live elsewhere.
Through at least the holidays he'll be here. But after that we dont know yet. At several points he has emailed saying he would go to counseling with me, if I really wanted him to, but he doesn't think it will work. Well I dont want to give up on him and he knows that! I've contacted a counseling service, but haven't heard back from them.
I just don't understand!! We've been soooo good together. He's just breaking my heart!!

Welcome to the board serenitysoon,
I like your username.
He's still here at home. But he's been talking on the phone to "her", probably a lot of emailing between the two of them as well.
I guess he knows he doesn't want me, doesn't know if she'll take him back and surely doesn't know how he can afford to live anywhere else.