So confused....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
So confused....
4
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 1:29pm

My bf of 6 months, out of nowhere, told me never to call him again. WHAT??? Our relationship was good. We got along, spent time together... it seemed to be going along smoothly. I was unaware of any problems that we had. So why would he tell me that out of nowhere never to call again. I decided to just give him a few days. I didnt call him until today. He won't take my calls. He wont respond to anything. All I want to know is what went wrong. Is this a normal way to break up with someone that you supposedly love. I dont understand it at all. Is it unreasonable of me to want to know what exactly changed everything. I'm very upset.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: sonny0027
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 2:23pm

Hi sonny0027 and welcome to the board,


So sorry you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
In reply to: sonny0027
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 3:49pm
I know you don't understand why he did it that way, and you have a lot of questions. You may never know the real reason, but at this point, calling him trying to give you answers, will make him ignore you more, and you will become more angry and frustrated. If you can, try not to call. It's easier said than done. Give him some space, he may call later on and tell you. What's sad, and I know all the people who have experienced this, is you didn't see it coming, and your just another example, of how some men don't know how to deal with issues and problems, and they just run away. It's easier for them. I can bet you, he didn't want to do it that way, but he was planning on breaking up with you some time now, and didn't know how to tell you. You were clueless, and when he got the nerve to finally end it, he did it in a cowardly way. Your not the only one, who has experienced this. Read the boards, and you'll find someone who has gone thru it. It's hard, because you deserve answers, but he's not ready to give them too you. You have to except that, and try and move on. I know that won't be easy, but you got to find a way to leave him alone, and try your best to move on. I promise you this, he will be back, some time down the road, maybe soon or maybe years from now. He has to live with what he did, and may just never look back. But, trust me, the very same "crap" he did too you,will happen to him, and he will think about the hurt and pain he caused you. He can't ignore that. I'm sorry about your pain, it's not a good feeling. I know, I was there with you years ago. But, in the end, you will see light, and all your pain your feeling now, will be just a memory. I really believe, your ex did you a favor. He's not the man for you. If he was, it wouldn't of happened this way. So be ready, God's got something bigger and better for you. I believe that. Say a prayer, and ask God for help, because this will be a painful journey. You will survive it, take care
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
In reply to: sonny0027
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 4:02pm
how did you get through the first few weeks fighting the urge to call and feeling sad when it happened to you years ago? I guess I should have never taken him back when he broke up with me the first time a month ago.... again for no reason. I left him alone for the most part and he called me a week later and begged for me take him back. I guess I was stupid in love...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
In reply to: sonny0027
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 7:08pm
It was very hard, and I mean hard, not to contact him. What kept me from calling, was I looked so desperate and I felt stupid. He wasn't chasing after me, trying to fix things, and I just sat and waited until I thought he would find me and call. I changed my numbers, and he never found me. We do have a mutual friend, so I figured, if he really wanted to contact me, he would thru her, and he never did. I did my best to keep my dignity, because I hit rock bottom with him, just calling him, leaving messages when I was drunk. Even when I think about it today, it makes me cringe, because I was stupid. But I learned from it, and won't ever go back to that state of mind. You will learn a lot thru this time, and it will help you grow into a new woman. I promise you that!!!!! Try to keep as much dignity as you can, it will pay off in the long run. One thing, I realized, being stupid is ok, because it's a part of you that makes you grow into a unique person. So just because you took him back, doesn't mean anything bad about you. You loved him, and you did what you thought was right at the time. But he left again, so you pick yourself back up, and push on. At the end of it, when your in my shoes, you will always have those memories for life, but your are different, in a good way.