so confused, hurt, need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
so confused, hurt, need advice
2
Mon, 10-25-2004 - 4:07am
i need some input... im devestated...

my boyfriend and i had it made in the shade...we were so happy...then one day he started to get jealous...i sensed this, but i loved him...and i let it slide...but i started to keep my guy friends away from him because i did not want to lose him...and then one day he caught me out with an acquitance of mine (with which nothing at all was going on) and he broke up with me...i knew it was wrong to keep it from him and i tried to show him i knew and i really did care about only him...then everything started to go back to normal...and then by complete accident...both of the guys walked in at the same time...and he broke up with me again!!! and i didnt do anything wrong that time...it was a freak coincidence...and now im crushed he would do that...i know hes not a good guy...but what the hell is he thinking calling me a day after multiple times in a row...i didnt pick up the phone until the fourth time...and he proceeded to tell me it was over,but we can still hang out and i still really care about you!! what the hell is going on inside his head ! i dont get it...he thinks there is something wrong with me because i didnt tell my friend off in fornt of him...please help some body!!i already made a fool out of myself after the phone call, trying to win him back and professing how much i loved him... how do i get my dignity back and how do i make him realize what he lost... and what the hell is he thinking...i dont know what to do ...i have to see him for 2 more years because we work in the same place...i need advice from anybody!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 11:38pm
Welcome to the board. I'm sorry to hear about your problems with your relationship. I have one question that springs to mind....after your bf broke up with you the 1st time he saw you with your aquaintence and you got back together did you try to keep the aquaintence a secret still?? If so I can understand why your ex would be so upset.....it looks shady when you keep a male friend a secret from him. If you didn't keep the aquaintence a secret anymore then your ex just has serious jealousy issues that more then likely will never go away. I was in a relationship with a very jealous guy for over 3 yrs....he couldn't stand others to look at me and was always accusing me of cheating....it was a horrible relationship and I'm so glad to be out of it and now I won't accept a guy that gets jealous like that...if they can't trust me, then they aren't worth my time. If I were you, I'd just try to end the personal relationship between you and your ex....and maybe try and be friends after you've both gotten over one another. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you decide to do.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 11:34am
I would like to say something. I just ended a relationship of 6 and a half years. He was a very jealous person. I never did anything to give him a reason to be jealous. I wasn't allowed to have male friends and he didn't like any of my female friends. Anyway, by the time I left him I only had 3 female friends left. I learned that you can never allow a guy to take control of your life. You may not think that is what he is doing but it is. If he loves you and trusts you then it won't bother him that you have male friends. And it is true that you should never hide things from your boyfriend but he shouldn't put you in a position where you have to. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.