So Frustrating!!!
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 02-06-2007 - 9:16pm |
Oh how I LOVE being single again after seven years! Last month, after dating a seemingly well-adjusted man for about 4 months, I got the shaft. And I'm not sure even why...he started by saying that four months was long for him (red flag there), and in his opinion, we should be farther along than we were at this point. So, my response was, well, what is it that you want, then? What am I to you? Am I your girlfriend? Someone you are dating? Do you like me? Do you just sort of like me? WHAT?!? SPEAK?!?
Then, and this really hurt, he said he hadn't felt the need to designate me as his girlfriend, and at this point if it hadn't happened, it prob. wouldn't. I finally said "Let me be clear. At this point, are we dating?" and he said nope! So I just said-"K", I'm gonna go, then".
Come to find out, he confessed to a mutual friend, that he ended it b/c he didn't feel a connection, with me, like I had no emotion. Like it was going nowhere. Becasue I wouldn't open up. Now, this is EXTREMELY frustrating to me b/c the whole time we were dating, while we had a great time, he was SO HARD to get to know. He was so closed off, and never had any time for me unless we had already planned on doing something. He even sounded annoyed on the phone if I called him, so I stopped. Why should I open myself up to someone like that. Yet, I am the emotionless one. I didn't even know how he felt about me. Once, I tried to open up to him by telling him how much I liked him and what did I get back? A hug, but no words!
I need closure! HOw do I get it? It is driving me crazy that I was dumped for being emotionless when, in fact, he was closed off to me! I see him all the time as we are in the same social circle. Rather than try to work it out, or actually talk to me and say something like "hey, we're not connecting" just broke it off! How do I deal? I feel as though I've been treated so unfairly!!!

My boyfriend just did the same thing to me. Or was he even my boyfriend or just friends with benefits??? Anyway, he just stopped calling one day and when I asked him if everything is all right he would never say no or I don't feel like continuing this relationship. I always got "I'm busy". He's been busy since December 25th. Rather than just set my mind at ease, he chose to be a coward and disappear. I hate when guys think that we'll get the message.
At least you heard something from a mutual friend and I wouldn't take it personal. Even though you guys had a lot of fun together, romantically it must not have been clicking for him. It just wasn't meant to be and that should be your closure. It still sucks though and it would have been nice if you guys talked about things. Seems like he told everyone why he wanted to break up but forgot to tell the person involved. Guys don't want to deal with any possible anger or tears.
I wouldn't be angry at him either. He doesn't sound like a bad guy. Just someone who doesn't know what he wants and has a tendancy to hold his own faults against others. Just play it cool. Maybe he'll realize his mistake one day.
Christine
Hi sls0351,
Welcome to the board.