So I didnt pick up my stuff today

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
So I didnt pick up my stuff today
1
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 6:38pm
I was really sick for the past four days. I still forced myself to go out for two hours on saturday. We all need that. Can not stay in. It makes the hurt worse. I had a decent time untill the very end just started to get sad and wanted to go. I look at all the girls at the bar. And realize he would probably be trying to hit on so many of them if he was there that night. And my self esteem just went down hill. I called him today to get my stuff. Mostly furniture. I needed a van. Unfortunately it fell through and I couldnt get one to pick my stuff up. So I had to call him back to tell him it wasnt going to work. He flipped out told me i was taking up his time. And to come over with my car and just get some of it now. At that point I didnt even want to see him so I declined. Earlier we were on the phone for half hr just yelling at each other. He told me it was my fault that he didnt want a girl who went out all the time ( i dont he wanted me always at home), that I broke things off with him, i didnt try and i didnt work at therapy. I gave him space for five weeks to come back to me untill I realized he was only seeing me on his terms like twice a week if that. He was the one after one session that didnt see therapy working that he didnt feel the same. The spark was gone. That book "hes not that into you" really helped me at the point. In the past I would have thought by him saying it wasnt him meant that he wanted me in some way that he thought i just wasnt working for it. But you know what not once did he say "Alexis I dont want you to move you stuff out. Or I dont want to break things off." It was always "whatever you want." Im going to cry again god knows I love him more then anything. But he has no interest in marrying me. he uses the excuse we fight to much that he wants to have one good year. Well being engaged isnt being married and telling you gf when u fight your never going to marry her doesnt help either. He just messed with my head. I love him so much and I think it will honestly take months before I can look at another man in the same light. Im not even thinking of dating right now and the odd thing is dont you still feel like your in a relationship even know your now single? its so wierd. It hasnt hit me yet god its going to worse before it gets better thats for sure. I think it will hit me at two weeks.
Avatar for iamdelightful
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 9:54pm

Yes, it definitely takes a while to readjust to single status. I think it took me a full month to get used to calling him my ex. I still wanted to refer to him as my boyfriend and it felt really weird not to do so. Ex feels more natural now, and we've been broken up for nearly two months. You would think I'd be feeling much better after that much time, right? Wrong. It does take time. But I know and you must know too, that the pain will end eventually. Have you ever met anyone who is still broken-hearted after a year? After two years? Every now and then someone comes on the board who claims to not have gotten over a long ago love, but those people are really rare ... Usually what I have seen is people who slowly but surely begin to feel better and then one day they just don't post anymore because they've moved on with their lives ...

I know you can get through this, Lex. This guy doesn't sound like he treated you right, and you deserve better. Now that you're free of him, you've taken the first step toward having a better life. I know it doesn't feel that way now, but when you're in a great relationship you'll be glad you left him.