So, I went to a therapist...
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| Mon, 07-23-2007 - 2:33pm |
Just an update about me....
I went to see a therapist this morning. I'm not even sure why I went...I'm not sure I still needed to go since having made the appointment. I originally made the appointment when I was still crying like crazy everyday and would get sudden anxiety attacks, neither of which have been happening lately. Still...I went--proceeded to feel anxious in the parking lot but managed to get out of the car and go in. It wasn't bad, although I did feel rather out of place and stupid. I mean really...I keep thinking to myself, I'm an intelligent adult! I SHOULD be able to get over this on my own! This isn't the first time I've gone through this. Truth is, this time has been very, very different. Many other things "cracked" open and my breakup was just the beginning. In my situation, it wasn't just the breakup that left me feeling so lost and hopeless. It was the dream for the future he kept alluding to. He played on my deep desires for a child. In fact, before I met him, I had come to terms with, and totally planned on becoming a single mother by choice. He told me I wouldn't have to do that and kept talking about "our kids" amongst other things. Since the break, I haven't been able to get my head back to that single mother by choice idea now that I've experienced something that was--albeit it brief--good. I really want to share that with someone. I just turned 36--THIRTY FRIGGEN SIX--two weeks ago today. The fact that time is not on my side and the fact that I'm once again single has added to my anxiety and grief. I'm also trying to get my house sold as I'm quite isolated where I live, have no life and commute 2 hours each way to work (the "joys" of working in the SF Bay area and wanting to own a house). This too adds greatly to my total depression since its not even getting looked at. Its been a whole bunch of things that have left me depressed. I almost WISH it were just the fact that I was dumped (ok, I did say "almost!").
BUT...I am getting over this. I no longer hope he will come back. Its been two months and honestly, I don't want someone like him in my life. I no longer cry all the time or get the anxiety attacks. I do still think about him all the time though, which I'm working on, but I take pride in the things I have managed to do. I even went out on two dates this weekend. Can say one will not get date #2 for sure, and I'm on the fence about the other guy, but this time I had fun and didn't cry for hours afterwards (like I did after going out with a guy three weeks ago). So there is progress and I know it will get better and better.

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I will be turning 35 this year. I completely understand how you are feeling. Even though we are not old women it sometimes feels like it because at least for me, most of the people I know are married with kids. It has been closer to four months since my ex and I broke but I still have some feelings to work through though it's getting better.
I congratulate you on dating! That is great news! I haven't even thought of dating at this point but then I haven't met any single men my age. Honestly, I don't know if I'm good at this dating thing...this relationship has made me question whether I was or not (don't know if you felt that way or not). Well, hang in there. I'm glad you feel that you are moving in a positive direction. I'm working on that as well.
Hi there,
I have just joined this community because I got dumped 8 months ago by a guy who I work with. I am still not over him and because of that I have experienced a lot of emotional ups and downs... to the point where I too feel like I need to see a therapist. It didn't go very well unfortunately, but I just want to say I am very happy for you that your life is moving forward. Hope it continues on the up.
Well the guy I was on the fence about seems to have disappeared. I haven't heard from him in a few days. Thats fine though as I didn't think he was long term keeper anyway. Funny thing is, the guy I KNOW I don't want to see again called last night but I was too out of it as I'd already gone to bed.
Sorry guys..but now today--in spite of all my strength and everything--I'm feeling some anxiety. I feel like this is never going to end. I know it HAS gotten better but its these moments that scratch out all my accomplishments. Today I am wondering if its really even worth it. I mean really, I'll probably have to go through this again at some point. I have never had a fulfilling relationship with a man. There was always something wrong--usually other women. I just don't know if I will ever find the kind of love I seek?
Guess its a good thing I started seeing a therapist. I keep thinking I've over come this but apparently not. I can't be strong everyday. What I really wish I had an answer for is why I stayed in the relationship till the end? It was only a few months, but I wasn't even happy! I was always upset and couldn't say anything about it though. I was never satisfied and I never got my needs met and I should have been the one to walk away. I finally do speak up and look what happens two weeks later! He leaves but doesn't even officially make the break! He just disappears like a coward. I really wish men fell apart like we women do. I think they would treat the people they were with better if they knew the pain we feel!
And I'm so sorry for not being as strong as I was just yesterday! :(
Oh lord no...we ALL have our moments. It's been a few months for me and I still have my ups and downs. It doesn't happen over night...and no, we're not like a lot of guys who shove emotions down and don't address them. My ex was like that which is why he could jump from one long term relationship to another without a second glance...and probably make a huge mistake.
Trust me, we all will find good guys. Probably not tomorrow but it will happen. And hey, you are out there dating...I haven't even Considered dating. I am working on having some fun with friends and making some new ones. I think you're doing pretty well myself. Really.
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