So I'm not the one?
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So I'm not the one?
| Mon, 11-15-2004 - 9:11pm |
My boyfriend of 1 year and I just broke up over the weekend. He was acting strange so I asked him what was going on and he finally said that he was confused and that he wasn't sure that I was "the one" for him. This came as a shock since we were not having any problems and he had given me no indication of it. Last Saturday was our one year anniversary and he took me to his family reunion. And on last Monday, we celebrated his 30th birthday. I wonder if all of these events spurred some confusion in him, but it doesn't change the fact that he claimed that his gut feeling told him this wasn't it. It truly and honestly hurts me and I know that he feels horrible. He called me last night to make sure I was okay, and I was able to let go of the anger, but I am so deeply hurt. We were so perfect together - we were each other's best friend and I thought, soul mate. It just breaks my heart finding out that he didn't feel the same way. As discussed last night, he came by my place while I was at work to drop off keys to my place and pick up his stuff. I lost all control when I saw the keys - I guess I was still in disbelief about the whole breakup and this made it official. I miss him so much and I'm going to be in so much pain for a while. Thanks for reading - it just helps to spell this out and I hope I will soon be able to move on.

I can definitely relate to your situation, as I have been there two (or three) times myself. The funny thing is that when we break up, we always remember the good times. It's the scariest thing in the world to think of going on without the person you thought was "the one". You have to believe, however, that you WILL find someone better. Better for you. Someone who will be excited to be with you, someone who will be looking forward to a future without a moment's doubt. You deserve 100% from the person you are with, and you should never settle for anything less than that. The truth is that even if you got back together, you may not be lonely anymore, but new feelings may arise; you may feel insecure, wondering if he will leave again, or wondering if he is truly sure this is what he wants. It will take a while to get over this breakup - I won't deny that. But you will eventually have more good days than bad, and you will realize you are too good to be with someone who will only confuse you.
I'm sure you have heard this a thousand times - but it is very true - time will heal things. Soon you will create new memories in your life that will erase the old ones. Be with good friends, have good times. Sometimes I find it helpful to write letters to him but never send them.
I hope this helps - Good Luck.
Hi there,
Been in your situation but after four long years together...he not only throws me the I don't think you're the one line but cheats on me to make it a deeper wound. So be grateful that your ex didn't drag out the situation and cheat. My ex spoke to me about marriage a week before he got some girls number at the bar. So the situation could have been much worse! It's been a little over two months, and yes I have depressing moments, but in general I'm alright. This board has helped me out a ton :) So, keep your head up and remember your worth! Be happy that you didn't waste more of your time. At times, I feel like a fool for staying around for four years...he made me believe I was it. But I think he may have known earlier but was too afraid to be completely honest. I had my doubts but I made excuses to avoid listening to the truth. In a situation like ours...the truth is when a man/boy says "I don't think you're the one for me", guess what...He isn't the one for you either. Because every person deserves someone who realizes their worth and nothing less. We all deserve something extraordinary:)
You'll be fine...be strong, cry when you need too, and know that someone in a situation much worse than yours has made it through OK so far:) So you will too!