so incredibly broken hearted, need help
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so incredibly broken hearted, need help
| Wed, 07-21-2004 - 12:49pm |
I've posted what happened between me and my ex before. I can sum it up again though. After a year and a half of a horrible relationship, he decided he needed space. I treated him horribly, breaking up and making up whenever i felt like it. I was going through alot of things and so was he. We got together at the worst time ever. I was the most depressed i've been in my life and his family was breaking up. His mom had cheated on his dad. So he told me he needed a break and that we'd get back together later. I was willing to wait at first. Now it's been 7 weeks. A week ago I gave him an ultamadum. At that point I didn't care either way it went because I was sick and tired of all of this. I told him we can either be together and work things out or I'm gone. And I would cut him off completely because I can't handle the pseudo relationship of kindof boyfriend kindof friend. So for 4 days things were fine. Yesterday I dragged it out of him that he'd changed his mind and that things were "going to fast" when we had only spent one evening together. I know him and I know he's happy to finally have control. I wasn't the best girlfriend at all. We both pushed away our friends for eachother. We had an extremely co-dependant relationship that has now left me with one friend. He however has just regained his old friendships, whereas all my friends are off to university and are working all the time. I am always alone and it kills me. So yesterday we had a huge argument things went horribly. After a few hours he started flirting with me again. I am so hurt and confused. I'm trying to stop myself from calling him but it is so hard. He has these weird mood swings where he'll either be really nice or really mean to me. So yesterday he told me that by the end the only thing left was sex. Which killed me. I am in so much pain and don't know what to do. I'm trying to not call him. I just did 5 minutes ago. He was like usual busy with friends in his car or a girl who knows anymore. And very rude. I am so tired of being alone and hate this situation.
Please help me.
Please help me.

"He has these weird mood swings where he'll either be really nice or really mean to me. So yesterday he told me that by the end the only thing left was sex."
This is a major relationship breaker, and he basically just told you that it is over between the two of you. He knows exactly what he is doing when he is hot and cold to you whenever he feels like it. You have to let him go, because he is not willing to work on this relationship with you. He already is trying to reclaim his life, how it was without you. Learn from this experience and go out, try to meet new people, get a job, go shopping, do something nice that you enjoy. Take care of yourself and your health, do not let this get you down.
I know you are hurting, but use this time to get to know yourself better and do not contact him. Do not wait for him to come around, he is out there and you should be out there too having fun like he is. He is mean to you because he is moving on and he is nice ocassionally when he maybe wants something from you or he just feels like it at the moment.
This has nothing to do with caring and you should not wait for him to come back to you and call you. No one deserves to be someone's second choice. Stay away from him because he will only hurt you. Do exactly what he did, pretend he does not exist, and do your own stuff. You don't need him in your life. You need to start feeling good about yourself.
Trust me if he ever comes back, it will be on his own and no one can make that decision for him. He is looking out for himself now, you should do the same. Take care of yourself, you are the one that matters. Good luck!