so lost...
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 10-04-2005 - 8:05pm |
Hi everyone..
About a week and a half ago my boyfriend and I broke up. He made a bunch of excuses but I know when it comes down to it, it had to do with another girl. We didn't get to see each other a lot and he hated that, so I know he started talking to someone else. Our relationship was so perfect when we were together though and we have both wanted to be together for so long (like a year). We were so in love, his friends all called us the lovebirds, we were so cute.
Before me, he dated a girl who was an alcoholic.. so he got into a bad habit of drinking. He's def a binge drinker, he can't just have a few drinks - he has to get completely trashed. The past few weeks I had been really busy and we had only seen each other a few times, therefore he ended up at this bar with his best friend (who is an alcoholic also) and this trashy girl. This girl convinced him last weekend that he should be with someone who wanted to be with him and in his drunken stupidness - he called and broke up with me.. wouldn't even give me a chance to defend myself, was swearing and being really mean to me.. That had really never happened before and it was out of nowhere, totally unexpected.. we had plans for my birthday & all weekend and had talked earlier that day and he told me he loved me and couldn't wait to see me.
I'm so heartbroken.. we never fought, we got along great, his family loved me.. Like I said, I know he has a major problem - since we've been broken up he's been at the bar every night completely trashed.. but I just love him so much and everything reminds me of him.. I hate missing him so much. When I think about him, I just think about the positive things - its so hard for me to see that I'm better off.. I just want to get better, I hate this achy feeling I have.. I even failed to mention before that I was in a previous relationship and broke up with the guy I was with, to date this guy. I don't know if I regret it or not, but it sucks because I did it because I knew the history of his past relationships and I wanted him to be happy - in all actualizaion I guess he wouldn't know a good thing if it bit him on the ass.
I just feel so lost because this whole thing came out of nowhere and its so hard to believe that two people who love each other so much can be where we are right now..

Hi lizzz,
I understand how much you must be hurting right now.
Hi,
I know your hurting badly right now and can understand. There are many things that go through your head (sometimes all day), keep you awake, or wake you up. These are very fresh wounds you feel and they are very real & painful to you. Take your time with them. This board IS here for you.
One thing that struck me about your post and it really stood out for me along with your heartbreak is the following:
"I don't know if I regret it or not, but it sucks because I did it because I knew the history of his past relationships and I wanted him to be happy - in all actualizaion I guess he wouldn't know a good thing if it bit him on the ass."
Also (my thoughts), the current dependance on alcohol, my side note, is a bit tough..you want to feel sorry BUT please know that you can't control his actions and these reactions are not about you...!!!
I can relate to you and what you are going through in so many ways as many others can on this Board can. The reality is "we" can not make anyone else happy NOR can anyone make us happy unless the "Individual" (I, her,she, him, he, it)is happy with themselves. We/They compliment (like and respect and ultimately love) us/them.
I recently came out of a relationship and there were many factors...but utimately the person is not happy themselve. Many nights, I laid awake or woke up and thought "If only..What if..We can do this"....Goes on.
In the end...It is very hard to let go. You have to; that's why this community was created. I hope you keep posting here.
Please remember...There is always hope and in hope, even with set backs, the reward is clarity and fulfillment.
I wish you the best of luck and keep posting!
Stephanie