SO MAD!!
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| Wed, 08-01-2007 - 4:42pm |
My ex called last week to tell me he's got some healthy problem, so i called Friday to say briefly I was sorry to hear he's not doing well and I wish him the best. We quickly discussed a few things left to exchange (namely my passport which was being delivered to his apt). I EXPRESSLY SAID (and for the 3rd time) to just hold it all (he'd mentioned clothing of mine coming periodically back from the dry cleaners) for a month or 2 and he could ship it then or we could do an exchange as I come across things of his I have.
He just called my desk. Ofcourse I didn't answer, but I checked the VM which was him saying he has my passport and to text him my office address so he can send that to me and then another package of my clothes etc after the weekend (he's taking the trip to Montauk we were supposed to take together this weekend).
I asked him numerous times to leave me be for now, I told him he could just hold on to the things of mine he comes across, tuck them in his closet or whatever for LATER. Each time he agreed, so WHY is he calling me now? I haven't cried at work since early last week, but I just spent 10 hysterical min in the bathroom. Can I ignore him? Do I have to get back to him now?
The very worst thought, and this just occured to me now, is this his way of getting rid of EVERYTHING invovling me once and for all as soon as he can and being done with it, and if so, is that the real reason I'm so upset by this?

You gotta ask yourself, why did you want him to hold the stuff until later?
But why did he agree to hold on to everything in the 1st place? We did the big exchange, the few remaining things aren't urgently needed. The only think I was expecting to change in a month or 2 was how upsetting it is to hear from him. RIGHT NOW it makes me cry, 6-8wks from now, I have a feeling I'll be in a little better shape.
Why is he asking for my office address when he's sent me things here multiple times AND it's one of the top PE firms in the country so one could easily look it up online AND he knows I still chat regularly with his bestfriends gf so he could get all this info from her? AND I emailed it to him LAST WEEK!
I told him I didn't want to hear from him for awhile, I thought it would be best for both of us. He agreed, so why couldn't he stick to it?
Edited 8/1/2007 5:34 pm ET by gal_astoria
Hi,
::But why did he agree to hold on to everything in the 1st place?
To not cause a fight?
You can't control what another person does. All you can control are your actions and your reactions.
It doesn't matter WHY he's doing this. He is, and that's the reality you have to deal with.
I personally would not want my passport sitting at an ex's house so I'd just text him the address and let him send the stuff to you and be done with it.
Sheri
Yes, I got that from your previous post. But again, you can't control what he does. And yes, he's terribly selfish, but you knew that.
So...given all that, what are YOU doing to prevent him from contacting you (that doesn't involve asking him not to contact you, because that's is not going to work)? You need to manage your own recovery. I know it would be great if he would cooperate but the reality is, he's not going to. There are a number of things you could do--block him from emailing you, change your number, etc.
Sheri
There you have your answer to all your whys - "he is SO terribly self-centered."
My best advice, get your stuff back ASAP no matter what the previous agreement was - things change, situations, people, timing, etc.