So sick of feeling like this

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
So sick of feeling like this
15
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 10:11am

So I think i've been pretty good about holding it all together in the weeks since the break...After the initial shock I've tried to be mature and accepting. I've read all the books and know I'm better off. Then today hits.

I woke up a little unhappy and of course he's the first thing I think about(something I've gotten used to). Then a friend calls and she's all understanding and sympathetic and I lost it at work. In three weeks I haven't cried at work, but today it's all I can do to keep it together.

I'm so sick of him being the focus of my day...what's he doing, how's he feeling. I know in my heart that he's doing just great and probably feeling relieved now that the break up's over and isn't it great Kathy being so strong and understanding. The fact is I'm just not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me act down, let alone beg him to come back.

I want my life back. I want to be happy and excited about the future again. I know it will happen, but god it seems to be taking a long time in coming.

Sorry, don't really have a question. Just needed to vent.

Thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 11:00am

That's alright, vent away!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 11:21am

Love the quote. I think I may post it at home and at work. I'm sorry, I probably missed it in an earlier post, but have long ago was your split.

Kathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 12:05pm

Next week will be three months since we broke up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2005
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 2:23pm
i just want to say that you are not alone. i know the pain you are feeling.
i'm sick of feeling like this too. i'm not broken up yet with my boyfriend but things are hard and i feel horrible everyday.
last time i broke up with him i felt the same way you are feeling. just take comfort in the fact that it will get better. not right away, but each day will get a little easier. realize you will be ok. then one day, you will realize that you already are ok. you will be a stronger person for what you are going through and the sun will shine once again, there is too much to be happy about in life to feel sad for too long. life's too short, and this is your own, not his, so enjoy and embrace it. you will be FINE.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 3:53pm
Thanks for all of your posts Sandra - they are very insightful. I was wondering if you would share what personality traits your b-friend alerted you to. It sounds like we are very similar - your post really struck a chord. I feel like, even though my current ex is at fault for many things, I need to make some changes before getting into another relationship. Kelly
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 5:30pm

This will be all over the place, but I'll try to bulletize the list ;)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 6:22pm

Thanks Sandra. You don’t sound like a jerk. You sound like an independent woman. I can relate to many of your behaviors. I, too, am very independent but become dependent and almost lose my voice in relationships (not exactly “needy” but along those lines). That is something I really want to look at – it is a pattern I do not want to repeat (I also tend to pick dominant, controlling guys who perpetuate that dependency). I own my house but have done little to “warm it up”. I accept very little help from others yet go overboard helping boyfriends. I stop having “fun” when the relationship hits a certain point (I wonder if this is just the natural progression of things, though – we need to be motivated and proactive to make sure this doesn’t happen). So many issues to work on and so little time :) I know I contributed to my break-up – my biggest problem being my inability to stand up to my b-friend when things didn’t go my way, but I was so far into doubting myself and thinking I was asking for too much that I backed down to everything. That was one of his complaints when things ended.

It takes a lot of strength to first ask and then hear someone out on your shortcomings – especially when you are going through a break-up and emotions/blaming are running high. Good for you on that!! Oh how I wish you girls lived in Denver. Glad I can find you on-line.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2006
Tue, 07-18-2006 - 11:47pm
OMG, Sandra, not to make light, but you sound like my ex!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 12:21am
I may be moving to Denver here in a few months. =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Wed, 07-19-2006 - 1:05am

Really, how so?

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