So, So Sad

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
So, So Sad
Sun, 12-15-2013 - 10:04pm

My bf and I broke up on Friday after being together for two years. Before him, I was married for 8 years (together for 12). I have two children. This man helped me trust again (though I struggled with that our entire relationship), and we really love each other. Other things that we couldn't agree on caused the breakup and its probably  for the best, yet I feel so, so very sad.

I know it comes w/ a breakup but I'm just so tired of being sad. Im in my late 30s and I feel like I've spent most of my life getting over someone.  I'm mad at myself for picking the wrong people and wasting time being in love when I should have been focusing on myself.  Every accomplishment in my life has been overshadowed by heartbreak. I'm a singer and am signed to a label and I'm recording a new album. Something I've wanted to do for years now..but yet again, I'm trying to deal with pain.

I should be a pro at this heartbreak thing but it hurts so badly and I don't know how to get over it. I'm wondering what he's doing, wondering if I made the rt deciskon, wishing he would call..the usual. And I have two children to take care of! So I put on a happy face for them but  dying inside. :-(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: elvenom
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 7:58pm

Hey Taylor Swift became a millionaire writing songs about her heartbreaks!  Seriously I don't mean to minimize it because it's always painful to go through a breakup, but isn't it a great accomplishment that you can be a professional musician?  For now, focus the time you will need on your career and your kids.  You can't really say that your marriage was a waste of time because you got the kids out of it.  I try to look at that about my 1st divorce (yes there were 2)--I was married 13 yrs & we dated for 2 yrs before that.  If you are mad at yourself for picking the wrong people, spend some time figuring out what was wrong with them and what you really must have in your next relationship so you won't pick the wrong guy again.  And good luck with the singing.

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
In reply to: elvenom
Wed, 12-18-2013 - 1:33am


  Pain is good for the creative process.  It allows you an outlet that is positive.  You are moving in your career.  that alone is something to look forward to.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2003
In reply to: elvenom
Tue, 02-11-2014 - 5:31pm
You sound identical to me and my past experiences. I am so sorry you are going through this :( you are not alone.